Hatreds Cost II
by Jemerik
Summary: Robin is still an apprintice and Raven has to free him! Can she? And what happens if she does? What's around the corner for the Titans? Sequel to Hatreds Cost, READ THE FIRST ONE OR THIS WILL MAKE NO SENSE! No flames. pg-13 for torture. not that bad thoug
1. Six Years

**Hmmm… It's time for my sequel already? Haha… yes, I've kept you waiting for far to long, days maybe? Well, I have some explaining to do first, so I hope you read this: For Rae/Rob stuff, I'm sorry how the end worked out, but it gave me such a perfect entrance to a new story that I just couldn't resist. I was going to have them die- and live happily ever after in nevermore together. But life is no fairytale, and neither is this. I do love happy ending though, and if I can get an ending to my other story that I wrote that I might post (again) because no one read it. But that's another tale. So… Raven and Robin were left off as apprentices… and now what? Well now we start the story. Oh, this will have some failed juvinile attempt at fluff, seeing as, if I did anything worth noting the parental units would find it, and… well we won't go there. Let's put it this way: I would have _a lot_ of explaining to do. So here is the fic:

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**1… **

Six years. It's being six years. I escaped Slade six years ago, thanks to Cyborg. We've been fighting for six years, a rebellion as they call it. A rebellion that's weakening if we don't get another leader, all of us know Batman can't handle everything. Boy wonder… the words have been uttered, only to bring my painful memories of my sweet past with him. I glared out the window, it was mid-afternoon, and I was sitting inside wondering what to do with myself, reflection on my horrid past. Cyborg walked in, I knew what he wanted to talk about, for it was he who suggested boy wonder.

"Hey Rae." His words were simple, but not meek. Cyborg hadn't grown much, his voice had changed, it was now deep and strong, he no longer liked video games, and was much more serious. This war had done that to all of us. Starfire wasn't naïve anymore, she was so serious sometimes I was scared- no, I didn't fear, I was surprised. Beast Boy… he was no longer laughing and jumping around, no he was somber, following orders, fighting…

"Hello." I spoke in my monotone. I revealed nothing, not to anyone. Not even my own team members.

"You know what we need to talk about."

"I know." I didn't want to. I didn't want to see boy wonder… I didn't want to remember feeling love or happiness, because that didn't exist to us anymore.

"You need to get him. We need him, the team, the people need him!"

"I know!" I whirled around to face Cyborg. "I know what we are, I know what we have to do! I know I have to get Robin!" There. I'd said it. I was shaking now, I wasn't sure if it was rage, or I was… no. I didn't fear.

"Raven, we have no choice, we have people willing to fight Slade, people without a leader. He can lead, he was an amazing leader before…"

Even Cyborg was scared to talk about it, I'd had enough of avoiding it. "Before we were tortured! Before our skin was ripped from our limbs, before we bled, before we fell! Are you scared of saying that?"

"No. You know none of us are scared, it used to be you got worked up and changed to subject whenever someone brought it up!"

"Things used to be different! We were the fun-loving laughing Titans! We were strong, and now look at us! We're war torn and alone! We've forgotten happiness!" I was beginning to sound extremley out of character. "It doesn't matter." I looked up at him, Cyborg began to open his mouth. "Don't say anything. Just tell me my mission." I knew I had to, it was for everyone else, not me.

"You will find Robin, and you will bring him back. We believe he is at…" Cyborg gave me the directions to an underground headquarters that was being used to build more of Slade's drones. "It's not very well guarded, it should be easy, seeing as, it's only robots."

"Fine." I used my powers to open the window.

"Good luck." They never wished me luck.

"Goodbye." I flew out, not one part of me doubted I wouldn't come back, no this would be easy, just seeing Robin… I shook my head and concentrated on flying. I found the headquarters with ease and floated down fifty feet away from it. Two robots floated in front of an entrance to a tunnel. I sighed, this was almost too easy, like a trap. I knew it wasn't though, they weren't expecting this, their attention was at one of their camps where we had invaded. I sighed and ran up to the two robots, knocking them together they fell in a crumpled heap on the ground. I smiled, a rare smile, even rarer than what they used to be. I frowned again. Kicking the robots aside, I walked in, afterall, I wasn't in any hurry.

The tunnel was dark, long and straight it led my to a large room, filled with artificial light. Thousands of robots were being made, all watched by Robin. He stood at full attention, watching… I'd learned a few tricks, running up to him I hit his neck. He would be out for five minutes. I grabbed to tracker on his neck and threw it at one of the robots. Good, Slade wouldn't notice. I resisted the urge to go in his mind, no I'd have to wait until I was sure Slade wasn't in it. I stepped behind some crates, carrying Robin with me. I looked at his face, remembering when we had a bond, how I could talk to him, feel his emotions, help him. I sat there patiently. He woke up.

"WHO? WHAT?"

"Shush."

He twitched at my voice, it registered as something to him. _A good sign._ I thought. I turned him to face me. "Do you remember me?"

"Enemy."

I sighed. Now I had to, and if he was evil it would be harder to break. _You are truly Robin. _I thought to him. He twitched again.

_Slade. I. Make. Robots. For. Slade. I. Fight. For. Slade._

_No, you fight for us, you used to. Remember me? I loved you once._

_I do not know love._

_You do._ I hated to be so kind, but I knew I still loved him. It wasn't fair either.

_No._

_I don't want to argue. _I kissed him. He didn't seem to mind, instead of pushing me away, he pulled me closer. Something had clicked.

_You remember me now?_

He was forced to stop for air. _Raven. You are Raven, I love you Raven. I am Robin, I was a Teen Titan, but the world was turned, and now I don't know what I am._

_You are one of us, the rebels. There are no Teen Titans. _

_I don't care, I am with you._ With that, he kissed me, pulling me closer, I let him. Raven Roth, the Raven who pushed everyone away pulled bird brain closer. Stupid bird brain, he changed me too much.

I stopped him. "We have to leave."

"I know. Let's go. Wait- my tracker, it's on the back of my neck, just pull it off."

"I did."

"There is one on my foot too." He took off his boot and pulled the tracker off his foot. I looked at Robin, he had changed. He was muscular, but not in a disgusting way. He looked healthy. His uniform was black now, with a red bird on it. His shoes were black too, his hair was the same spikey black, and he still wore his mask. He slipped his boot back on. "How are we going to get back?"

"I'm going to fly you back."

We were out of there, soaring, free. Or, at least I was. I held on to Robin who was grinning. The sun was sinking into the lake behind the Tower, making the water look red. The sky was pink, purple and midnight blue like I had never seen before. Cyborg stood in front of the tower, flagging us down.

"Good job."

"Hello."

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**Well, I thought that was a good start, a nice kiss for you and something to start the plot… which there isn't much of. But I might be able to turn this into a happy ending, or maybe not… Oh, and in my last story, Starfire was evil, and this one, she is not . I do not actually hate her, she can be funny sometimes. The keyword: _SOMETIMES_. So please REVIEW! Oh, sorry it was so short but... you could have waited longer or gotten a short chapter. **


	2. Never Forget Love

So where did we leave off? Oh yeah, THEY AREN'T APPRENTICES ANY MORE! Ok, that was torturing me just as much as you, so don't feel bad. I really hate it when I have to make people evil, but it would just be so perfect to do this. OK, so here we go. Chapter two…

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans

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**2…**

"We have to check him." Cyborg said. I sighed, I didn't want to, now that he was awake, and I could have him. I nodded.

"Check me? What?"

"For anything Slade could use to track you. We can't afford losing anyone."

"Of course." Robin relaxed and let Cyborg scan him.

"Clear." Cyborg said, suspicion in his voice.

"We took off the trackers when we met."

"How did you do it Rae?"

"You need to know no details."

A small smile played across Robin's face.

"Allright, why don't you give him a tour and somewhere to stay."

"We don't have any rooms." I said in my monotone.

"So he'll have to share with someone."

I glared at Cyborg. "Fine." Ice was in my voice. I led Robin inside.

"It was obvious you know." Cyborg said as we left. I was tempted to flick him off, but I thought it would be better for all of us if I didn't.

"Why do I need a tour?" Robin asked me. "I used to live here."

"He just wanted us to be alone. Come on we need to find you a room."

"I thought there weren't any."

"You're right, you're going to have to stay with- with me…" I sighed.

"And this is bad why…"

"Shut up bird brain."

"You shouldn't talk."

"Cut the immaturity. Things have changed."

"I didn't think anything changed between us." We were standing in my room, he shut the door. "At least, it didn't feel like anything changed."

He was leaning very close to me, locking his eyes with mine. "No. Nothing has changed." I said quietly. "Between us at least."

"That's all that matters." He kissed me. I pulled him closer.

"Raven come on we have a team meeting. Bring Robin." Starfire's voice was sad and tired.

"Starfire?" Robin pulled away from me. "Was that you?"

"Yes." I could hear her walking away.

_Calm down. _

_What? How did you? We haven't been connected like this for six years why so eager?_

_Because I still love you, and I miss that._

_I love you Raven._

"Come on." I said blankly.

"We have all ni-"

"No we don't, you're on the couch in that corner."

"What? Why?"

"Hmm… Let's think." I rolled my eyes as we left.

"About time." Beast Boy said, sounding hollow. "Hey Robin."

"Beast Boy, Starfire, Cyborg…"

"Where are the others?" Starfire asked.

"At base, we'll just be watching Jump City for awhile. Slade is supposed to come back soon."

I sat down next to Robin on the couch.

"Robin do you have any clue what Slade may be up to?"

"Yes. He's going to use the robots to try and attack you. He wants to distract you to get rid of some of you're larger leaders."

"You will come in handy."

"Yes, until he finds out at least, then he will change everything."

"So when will this happen?" Cyborg asked.

"Tommorow, Sometime around sunset, your base must be in a different time zone."

"Yes, very good. This will make things much easier."

"The robots are so easy to defeat though, why would he waste his time with that?" I asked.

"A hundred thousand is very tedious, so it will take awhile." Robin said.

"Ok. So you know where you are sleeping Robin?" Cyborg asked.

"Yes. In Raven's room."

"Oh…"

"Shut UP Cyborg." Luckily for me nothing broke. My emotions seemed to be easier to control now that I had grown up.

"Time for dinner." Cyborg had a small smile on his face.

After Dinner

Robin and I were walking back to my room.

"So…" He started.

"So…"

"It's been awhile."

I looked at him. "Is that all you really have to say?"

"Yes. And one other thing." He pulled me against the wall and kissed me.

"Robin." I pushed him forward.

"What?"

"It's a little… open." Not that I didn't want to feel his lips…

"Sorry." He pulled me into my room. "This better?"

"Yes."

He shut the door, and began to kiss me, again.

"You know we really shouldn't." I said five minutes later.

"Yes, but I really want too."

I smiled. "I missed you too."

"I know it won't always be like this. We can't be this childish."

"I'm glad you see it my way. But… just one more time."

"Now you beg! Come on really…" He was cut off by my lips.

"Come with me, to the roof." I pulled away and whispered to him.

Memories for both of us came back. Sorrow washed over us, remembering what we had, remembering what the Titans had. I led him to the roof, not wanting to wallow in my past. I didn't need to, nothing could be changed.

We stared out at the lake. "It's just as beautiful as it was."

"Yeah." He was staring at me. "You are."

"Cliché."

He sighed and smiled. "I know, but it's the truth." He was pulling me into a hug. "I'll never let anything happen to you again." Closer to him. He looked down at me. Softly he lowered his face to mine. "Ever." He kissed me.

I could feel the antenna by us start to melt, I focused my powers on the rocks below, it was better than the tower. I didn't want this to end. He pulled me even closer, I hugged him back.

"Hey, quit making out, it's time for bed." Cyborg yelled. Robin ignored him. "Come on! You can make out with her later! Though, you two do look good together. Aww, heck. Closer man, no no! To light, there you go. Now breathe, and back in. Great! Now for a camera."

_So soft… so delicate an angel. How did I find my angel? I will never let your wings fall and burn, never. You are my angel._ His thought was in my mind.

"Mmmm…"

_Cyborg is coaching you._

_I think he has some good tips._

"PUT YOUR MOUTH INTO IT!" Cyborg was having a good time with himself, Robin seemed to enjoy it too. As much as I didn't want to admit it I enjoy his embrace… his lips… Ok Raven chill, go no further. "There you go! Ok now we really do need to go to bed, if you aren't down in five minutes I'm coming back up here, so you better hurry up and give her a big finish man! Call her beautiful before you set her down in her bed. Ok, night." Cyborg left.

_You can stop listing to him you know._

_Maybe I like 'putting my mouth into it'. We've grown Raven._ He finally pulled back. "Come on," He whispered. "Tommorow will be hell for everyone." He touched my cheek. I looked up to his mask, I wanted to see beneath it, to rip it off and… Way out of character. He scooped me up into his arms.

"Wha- what are you doing?"

He just smiled in response. He carried me all the way to my room, which is ours now, as much as I didn't want to admit it. He set me down on my bed and looked down at me. "I'm going to listen to Cyborg, you are beautiful."

"Th-thanks." I looked up at him, slowly I raised my hand to his mask, he made no move to stop me. I brought my fingers around the edge and worked it off. He looked at me with one bright emerald eye, and one dark inviting brown.

"I love you Raven." He kissed me one last time.

"I love you Robin."

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**Well, that was enough to satisfy you don't you think? Now tommorow, an attempted fight scene. (tommorow for them, not you, I don't think) NOW REVIEW YOU FIEND! I mean… please review. Thank you. And uh… have a nice day.**


	3. Hollow and Empty, But we all Still Care

**What went wrong when I grew up? Nothing. A seamless black void surrounds me and here I am escaping it. Maybe I should wait until I grow up. Maybe not. Thinking is what makes people insane, nothing else. So is that what they protect us from? No, the consequences are what they hide from us, but we find them anyway. So who is to stop us? No one. They can't face that. I should stop typing this now… it's not worth you're reading. So I'll let you read my fanfic. Do I really sound that depressed or is it just me?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. Some fancy rich people do, some people who will never experience life if they can help it, some people who will never read this and never care. Unless we try to make money off of it. Their money. This is my fun, you cannot take that away from me. **

**I crawled away from my hell **

**And I found my nirvana. **

**Don't take that away**

**Just let me stay**

**Don't hide me **

**Don't show me**

**Just let me stay **

**One night**

**One day**

**Then I'll be gone**

**Don't ask, I don't know what it is, it is just my typing. Or go ahead and ask, I don't care. You tell me what I'm writing!**

**AHAHAHAHAHA. That was so much fun! Ok, I'll stop with the depressed authors note. Hehehehe. I really hate what I just wrote. Hehehe. So here is my story, with fancy peoples characters:

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**3…**

"Up lovebirds it's 11:30!"

I rolled over mumbling "No." I could feel someone beside me. "WHAT?" I looked at Robin and laughed. "How did you manage that one?"

"I got cold." Robin replied simply. I stood up, grabbing some clothes I went to take a shower.

"Get a blanket tonight."

"What's wrong with yours?"

"Nothing." I shut the bathroom door behind me and locked it. I turned on the shower. I stripped my clothes off and climbed in, the hot water piercing my skin. It felt good, but I didn't have time for it. I quickly washed and got out. I dried off and pulled on my leotard, my cape behind me. I opened the door to find Robin, sitting on the couch.

"I uh… don't have clothes."

"What do you want me to do?"

"I don't know… they are sitting in my old dresser in the underground place where you found me…"

"I can try to summon them. Open the window." Robin obliged and opened my window, I cringed at the light coming in. "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" I chanted again and again until, a dresser was floating in front of Robin.

"Thanks." He said breathlessly. I nodded and left.

"You better hurry."

I sat down on the couch with a bowl of cereal. I ate it quickly. I used my powers to wash it.

"So how was last night?" Cyborg asked.

"You're beginning to sound like Beast Boy." I said in my monotone.

"So?"

"Yeah what's wrong with me?"

"Nothing."

"Be on your toes today Raven, we have to watch for Slade, Batman should contact us soon, he'll tell us how things are going at their camp. They'll come home in a week or so, and we'll figure out what to do from there."

I nodded and left.

"Hellooo…" Robin said, trying to sound seductive. He was lying on the couch reading.

"What are you doing?"

"Waiting for you."

I glared at him. "We don't have time."

"Just one kiss."

"Fine."

He turned me around to face him and pulled me towards him. "One kiss." He kissed me, like last night. I had to try not to crumple into his arms.

_See doesn't it feel good?_

"Mmmm."

"I thought so." He looked at me. His mask was back on now.

"I liked last night… with your mask off."

"It doesn't matter." He turned away.

"Your eyes are beautiful. Why do you hide them?"

"You are beautiful Raven, I am not." He looked at me.

"I don't care, I love you anyways, you were Slade's apprentice and I loved you still. Do not think eyes will stop that. I love your eyes Robin, I love you. Looks matter nothing."

He smiled wearily.

"Don't speak." I said, and smiled back at him. He pressed his lips to mine.

He pulled away and silence filled the room.

OoOoO In the Living Room/Family Room/ Reck Room/ whatever you call itoOoOoO

"We have to watch for them today, we cannot be distracted. One Titan goes out at a time." Robin said.

The others nodded.

"That makes sense."

"We have to be on high-alert, they may not be coming at sunset, and Slade may have changed the time. We just need to be careful."

Cyborg nodded. He and Robin walked off to discus tactics.

"I'm going to… train." Starfire said. I froze.

"What?" I asked. No… she couldn't, where was the Starfire I knew?

"I said I was going to go train."

"Why?" I was panicking, I didn't know why, just the thought of her training out of her own will… She had changed. I missed the naïve Starfire, before Robin and I kissed for the first time, before everything.

"Because Raven, we've all changed, and we all need to accept we're at war. I need to prepare."

"Starfire- wait!"

"What Raven?"

I had nothing to say, no sarcasm, nothing but a sorrow so deep inside me I wanted to scream.

"I have to train." She left. Any hopes of us regaining ourselves left me. Even Beast Boy was somber.

"Training is good, I need to work on animal combat, what to do. I'll use the tape Superman gave me."

I walked to the roof, I could meditate there.

I chanted my words, but I still wasn't at peace. Who was the cold dark person that was Starfire? Starfire who had hated me, but welcomed me when I had come back. Starfire who I trusted so… The Starfire who forgave me. I glared out at the lake. "YOU DID THIS TO ME!" I screamed at it. Maybe if I hadn't gone after Aqualad… maybe if Terra could just resist… Maybe if I wasn't weak! My screaming hatred for the world could do nothing for me, we had to fight. I had to be ready, I had to… train.

I spent my afternoon at the gym, and some resting. I took one last blow at the punching bag, which was in shreds, and left to go medidtate.

As the sun was beginning to hide behind the lake, the alarm went off. "Come on, they're here." Cyborg's voice was hateful as it rang out over the intercom. I rushed out to the front gate. I leaped over it as the others stayed behind. I floated in the air and screamed. "AZARATH METRION ZINTHOS!" Hate rang out across the field of drones, killing a good amount. Crumpling into a heap they fell. The gate opened and Cyborg's cannon fired relentlessly, Starbolts behind it. Robin fired bird-a-rang after bird-a-rang, some exploding, some not. It seemed to take an eternity to get half of the robots down. I glared at them. "YOU DID THIS TO US!" I screamed. The others looked at me in question. But they had no time to ask. "**AZARATH, METRION, ZINTHOS!**" A wave of black slammed into the robots. I had four red slits for eyes and I was breathing heavily. "**AZARATH, METRION, ZINTHOS!**" Another wave, now I had done it. Night sunk in, and every robot fell, except one. I glared at it. Then, I lunged for it. I screamed and ripped it to pieces. "YOU DESERVE EVERY PIECE OF THIS! YOU HAVE TAKEN EVERYTHING AWAY FROM ME, NOW YOU WILL PAY!" I cursed at the sky. "EVERYONE!" A large oak tree twisted into pieces. The water was slamming against the beach, and parts of the grass were ripping up. I chanted my words to myself and calmed down. The Titans were staring at me.

"What?"

"What did he take away from you?" Beast Boy asked.

"Look at yourselves, look what we have lost. I have things, I have Robin, and I have my friends, but we have all changed."

"No we haven't Rae, we're still…" I cut Cyborg off.

"Yes. We. Have." I glared at him.

"Fine."

I sighed and walked back inside. I heard Robin follow. I ignored him and walked to our room.

"Raven, what you said back there…"

"I know what I said! I don't care! Good night!"

"It's only 10:00!"

"I have been fighting robots for the past four hours. Good night." I turned away from him and stared at the wall. We both knew neither of us were going to sleep very soon. I heard Robin sigh and leave. I concentraited for a moment, and I was invisible. I was going to see just how much everyone had changed. First was Cyborg's room. I slipped through the door.

Inside was dark, computer equipment everywhere, and files on Slade. His room was dark and full of hate. A resentment so deep I had to struggle to remain under control. Cyborg like Robin had a hunger for killing Slade. I left his room, I needed to see no more. Cyborg was no longer the video-game loving person he was. He was obsessed with Slade, and was going to stop at nothing to find him. I shuddered and went to Beast Boy's room.

Sorrow and loneliness echoed around his room. He hated himself for losing Terra, he hated himself for letting her join, for brining everyone all of this. I looked around, his walls were barren, his floor empty, and his bed made. There was a TV in the corner, but I knew it wasn't used for entertainment. I sighed and went to Starfire's room.

There was no evidence of a fun loving alien here. Her room was tired and empty, only used for sleeping and changing her uniform. She had painted it white, everything in it was white, the furniture, the bed, the floor. A nothingness had settled over the room, Starfire too was alone and empty, using all of her time to defeat Slade. Her desk was piled with reports on him. He dresser even had paper on it. She had no make up, no jewelry, and no magazines. This was not Starfire. Suddenly the door opened and Starfire walked in. She stared at the mirror on her wall.

"Why… why can't I defeat them? Why are you so weak and worthless? You have to defeat Slade, be ready for him. Training will help you, then research. Then sleep. Tomorrow will be a better day…" Her voice was tired, she didn't sound like she believed a word she said, except for being weak and worthless. I wanted to call out to her, to tell her that it would be ok. But I couldn't, I remained invisible and floated out.

I could never reach out, I could never help. I could only break. I should not go where I am not wanted. I sighed and floated to the living room, Cyborg and Robin were talking. Beast Boy was walking down the hallway. _Going to bed…_ I listened to Robin and Cyborg talk.

"She was amazing today." Robin said.

"I wonder what we would do if she wasn't on our team."

"We wouldn't be sitting here right now."

"Yeah, that's fo' sure."

They sat in silence for awhile, before Cyborg finally spoke up. "You love her don't you."

"More than anything, I'd do anything for her."

"You will have a good relationship in battle."

Everything had to relate to battle.

"It's more than battle." Robin said.

"I know, but for us at the moment, it isn't. Raven is right, we are no longer the Titans, we are hollow and empty. It is what we have to do though, we have no choice."

"Yeah… we all have changed, but we've all had to see a lot."

I knew Robin was referring to the jagged scars that ran down both of our arms, where Slade had taken a knife and dug into our skin, dragging it down leaving us to bleed in our own hate.

"We will have to see a lot more. Come on, get some rest Robin, it's late. I bet Raven is asleep and you can crawl in beside her."

"Yeah." The comment didn't even phase him. I floated to our room and laid down on the bed, showing myself just as he walked in.

I felt him climb in beside me. "Good night Raven." He whispered, and kissed me. I fell asleep soon after, thinking about what my friends had become, pulling Robin closer to me. I could feel him smile. _You won't smile for long… you wouldn't if you knew what I just saw._ I thought. He didn't hear me. I feel asleep, falling into my loneliness.

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**Ok… That was chapter three, obviously. It was shorter than I thought it was going to be. I am feeling depressed, I don't know why, so I hope it doesn't show to much. Please Review, they cheer me up greatly. Unless it's a flame, then expect something right back to you, hey a flame might help, I could use a yell at someone. This I something a really don't usually enjoy, and I refuse to cuss, so you'll be lucky. Anways, I hope you like it so far. Please Review! If you review, answer my question: do you read my authors notes at the beginning and end? If so tell me what you think of my babling, sometimes I get amusing answers when I ask this, I just wanted to know. So thanks, and REVIEW/ANSWER MY STUPID QUESTION!**


	4. A Small Taste of Insanity

_Ok… time to thank the reviewers:_

_WickedWitch9: Thanks… it's amazing how small things help people. _

_Chica De Los Ojos Café: Yeah… the last chapter was depressing because I was depressed. I guess I still am, but not as much… I hope this one isn't so depressing. But no guarantees. I don't know because I write the 'authors notes' before I write the chapter, and I don't plan things out so… I'll be just as shocked as you when I read it. After it's posted of course._

_Titanfan: I'm writin' I'm writin'! _

_Sorry if I'm forgetting anyone but… you're awesome for reviewing!_

Oh, before I forget: I'm sorry if it seemed like I stopped my other story, I didn't.

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Teen Titans OR any AFI song that I use in this! So nobody sue! Especially not anyone in AFI… unless I could meet you… then um… JUST KIDDING! So nobody is mad: I'M NOT DOING THIS FOR MONEY! I just REALLY like AFI. GOT IT? Good._

**4…**

"Morning." Robin said to me. I groaned and opened my eyes. "Tired?" He asked.

"Yes. How do you manage to get in my bed?"

He smiled smugly. "You were asleep so I just crawled in last night."

Now I remembered. I had been looking around at me team members rooms. I sighed. "Fine."

"So I win?"

"Yes."

A smile played across his face, he was leaning forward when Cyborg knocked on the door. "We slept late yesterday, we need to get up now! It's 8:00! They could be here soon!" Cyborg shouted. I was just about to open my mouth when Robin kissed me.

"Time to get up." He said, pulling away. I nodded.

"I'm going to shower." I grabbed some clothes and walked into my bathroom. I glared at the mirror. My reflection glared back at me. I turned the water on and stepped in, the icy water slapping my back. "Why?" I whispered to no one. "Why does it have to be this way? Why couldn't we have been strong? We were the Titans." Were. The word echoed as I turned off the water. Were. We were the Titans. We aren't now… we are just rebels. We are against Slade, we are losing against Slade! How did we let this happen? "This is getting all to repetitive." I said as I stepped into my room. Robin was nowhere in sight. I sighed and walked to the kitchen. Starfire was standing over the stove making eggs. She had given up her puddings years ago, mustard was a rare treat for her.

"Morning Star." I said.

"Hello Raven."

I wanted to hug her, I didn't want to hear the depression in her voice.

"I just got a report, they aren't coming until sunset. Man, what is it with people and sunset? They say they may be late, so we have all day. Nothing is planned for today either… I guess we can train and research."

"Fine." I said. Robin stepped into the room. Cyborg started to tell him the plan, then they started to talk about training. No one heard me leave muttering "I'm going on patrol." It was my best excuse for getting out of there.

I soared over Jump city, looking down at the people I calmed. Oddly enough, it worked better than meditating. I watched the rooftops flow by under me. As I got closer to the middle of the city things began to get dirtier, more buildings were abandoned and homeless roamed the streets. I frowned, this wasn't right. What happened to the prosperous Jump City that had welcomed everyone into an expensive downtown? I didn't need to see any more of the city than what I had. I flew back to the roof and landed gracefully on both feet. I sunk down to the floor and sat Indian-style. "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos…" I began to meditate.

"Raven." Someone laid a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to face Robin. "Do you want some lunch? We ordered pizza."

My stomach growled before I could say no. "Fine." I said.

"Where have you been all morning?" We walked down the stairs and into the elevator.

"Watching." I replied.

"Watching what?"

"Jump city, have you noticed what happened downtown?"

Robin looked concerned now. "What?"

"How abandoned everything is, things have changed so much."

"Oh, yeah… that's Slade's territory. That's why it's so desolate."

"I figured so." We stepped into the kitchen. Starfire, Beast Boy, and Cyborg sat at the table, calmly eating pizza. _This used to be such a treat… so much fun for us. What happened?_ I shook my head and grabbed a plate.

The afternoon proved itself uneventful, I had meditated and trained. Now all we had to do was wait for Batman and the others to show up. Justice League… this would be interesting. I wondered what Robin would do when he saw Batman. We sat on the couch waiting for them to come…

"Now we have to discuss tactics." There was no hello from Batman, he came in and sat down in a chair. "Only Superman, Catwoman, Wonder Woman, and I are here. The rest stayed at camp. Now… about Robin, we need to get him, he is a strong leader, an amazing boy… I suppose he is no longer a boy anymore and wouldn't want to be called one."

"I'm here." Robin said.

"You seem to be ahead of me. How did this happen? I was supposed to be told if anything came up! There are NO surprises for us, not in cases like this! Who got him to join us?"

"I did." I said.

"How did you do it Raven?" Superman asked.

"I don't need to go into detail."

"Yes, you do." Wonder Woman said.

"Fine, I kissed him. Everyone happy?"

"I had no idea you and Robin…" Wonder Woman said.

"Well we do." Robin said.

"Congratulations." Catwoman said coolly.

"Yes. It's. Great." I hissed.

"Now that Robin is over, you will help us lead troops when needed, for now you will stay with Raven, I think it's better you two stay together anyways. You seem to work well in battle together." Batman said.

"Fine." Robin and I said together. Our personal lives didn't need to be shared with them.

Robin sighed. We were sitting on the roof staring at the lake.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"I didn't think it would be so… awkward with Batman."

"Yeah… I didn't think they would ask about… that."

"What? This?" He pulled me towards him.

"This is becoming a ritual."

"I like it." He kissed me, I gave in, Cyborg wasn't breathing down our necks this time…

"Robin… What are we going to do?" I turned to glare at the lake.

"I don't know." He glanced nervously at the scars on his arm. "We can't let that happen to us again." He said quietly.

_It won't._

_Why are you doing this again?_

_Because when I have someone in my mind I'm never tempted to do anything that may… rid me of my emotions, if you recall._

_Oh…_

_And you are much better than anyone else. Besides 'it will be better in battle.'_

_Battle isn't everything._

_It seems to be now._

_Yes… But it won't be, not forever._

Not forever, so there must be hope…

"Come on… let's go back in, they'll be curious about 'what we're doing.'"

We walked back downstairs, stopping before entering the living room after hearing our names.

"… Seem to kiss a lot." Starfire said.

"Yeah, they don't really do it _right_. I had to coach Robin the other night, it was pretty funny."

_Do you mind if we 'give them a show?'_

_Not at all Robin._

He swung his arms around me and we walsed into the living room making out, Robin stopping briefly enough just to say, "Like this Cyborg?"

"Uhh…. Yeah!" Came Cyborg's surprised remark.

Five minutes later…

"OK, you can stop now." Beast Boy said.

Twenty minutes later.

"OK DON'T MAKE US GET BATMAN!"

We pulled apart.

"Come on, let's go somewhere we they won't call Batman on us." I said. We marched off to my room, hearing their voices following me.

"To think Star, you would be there if you hadn't given up Robin."

"I DIDN'T GIVE HIM UP!"

"Yeah, sure… Why don't _you _have a boyfriend?" Beast Boy asked.

"I can get one!" Starfire was aggrivated, Robin and I decided to go back in, making out, of course.

"Ok dudes, it's not funny."

"Who says we're doing this for humor?"

I grabbed Robin's face and turned it back to me.

"OK…. I'm scared!"

"I CAN TOO!" Starfire yelled, so much for being calm. "JUST WATCH ME! Heyyy Beast Boy…" She patted the sofa beside her. "Come sit by me."

"I'm good." Beast Boy said.

A vein throbbed in Starfire's forehead, and she started to glare at Beast Boy. I could feel them turn back to us.

"Ok… Robin definantly picked up some tips."

"What?" Robin asked, and then turned back to me.

"A. You're taking up THE WHOLE COUCH, B. Whoa dude…" Cyborg said.

"Get a room." Beast Boy muttered.

"Beast Boy!" Starfire said.

For a second, it felt like old times, except, Robin and I wouldn't be making out if it was…

One hour later.

"Ok, I definantly think that's enough for 'em." I said.

"Fine…" Robin said.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "I'm going to bed."

"Allright." The others shrugged.

I sealed my mind from Robin, I wasn't in the mood to have someone hear my every thought. It had become easier to break our connection, or maybe I was just stronger. _Nothing can be this perfect for long._ I could sense it, something was about to happen. I just wanted to know _what._ I was standing on the roof instead of in my room. I glared down at the lake, part of me blaming it for doing this to us. I calmed myself, I couldn't blame anyone. I looked down at the rocks, they looked inviting to me… No. I shook my head. I wasn't going the easy way out, if I was going to die, it would be fighting Slade.

I dove, just before I hit the rocks I swung upward, and started to fly across the lake. "What is on the other side?" I flew out further, until finally I reached a dark wooded area. The darkness was inviting. It was a safe place to me, I could hide in darkness it is my ally. I glided down to a rock and sat Indian style on it, staring further out to the lake. I could faintly see the Tower glowing in the distance, if you concentraited hard enough, and knew a few things, you would know it was Superman and WonderWoman on the roof together. I turned away, instead staring at the water that lapped up onto the shore._ What am I going to do, Robin and I can't spend our time like this! He has to face it isn't like old times. Am I the only one who sees this?_

I glared at the water. _Yes I am… _No one sees how they have changed! Why? Why only me? Why can't they SEE? _Calm down… Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos…_ I should go back. I flew upwards, taking one last glance at my spot. No one will find this, this is where I need to go.

Back in my room I calmed down. No one had seen me, they all thought I had been in my room. Robin wasn't in here yet, I didn't want to talk to him, and I didn't know why. I looked at the CD and the CD player sitting on my dresser. I picked up both, sticking 'The Art Of Drowning' by AFI into the CD player. I glanced at the clock, it was only 8:00. _Why did I come back so early? There was no need to. _I frowned and decided to go back.

I sat back down in my spot, on my rock, staring out at the lake again, oddly content. I pressed play on the CD player, and the intro to the album started playing. (A/N- The intro has no words, so nobody go 'what are the lyrics' not that you will, but just in case.) Suddenly yelling started, it startled me after the smooth guitar.

_If you can't stand upon the water I will see you on the ocean floor.  
When you blink do you only find the misery between the lines?  
Then take my hand and walk with me.  
Come to me, your sanctuary,  
I'll gladly accept the gift that I've been granted.  
If you feel fine, then give it just a little time.  
I'm sure you'll contract my disease. _

Look what you've done to me now,  
You've made me perfect.  
Look what you've done to me now.

Look what you've done Robin.

If you can't stand upon the earth then I see you on the other side.  
When you blink do you only find the misery weighs down your eyes?  
Then take my hand and sleep with me.

Look what you've done to me now,  
You've made me perfect.  
Look what you've done to me now.

Take my hand, I'll be everything to you.  
Take my hand, I'll take everything from you.  
I will seep under your skin.  
I will.  
I will hold onto your heart.  
I will.

I have held on to you for so long…

Look what you've done to me now,  
You've made me perfect.  
Look what you've done to me now.  
Look what you've done to me now,  
You've made me perfect.  
Look what you've done to me now.

What have you done?  
What have you done?  
What have you done?  
What have you done?  
Done

What have you done Robin? Look at me.

I jumped. _Wow…_ I hadn't ever really listened to this, Starfire had given it to me as a Christmas present one year, I had just set it down. Now I realized why she had given it to me, or been advised to. The music suited me, it was me, I fit it. I was a part of it.

The next song started.

_Swing through sadness, tears of joy.  
Curse the sunlight. _

Curse it for everything, it does nothing but show, darkness hides.

_  
Arsenic for the girls and boys.  
Drink the madness, smoke so coy.  
Smile injection.  
Serum of a will destroyed.  
The seasons change without me.  
I remain in shadows growing wings.  
The spirit song still surrounds me, in refrain, in shadows growing wings.  
Like an angel with two broken wings, reach the sky again.  
Like a devil, meant for better things, I will find my place on high._

I'm right behind you. I found myself thinking to the singer, I checked the back of the record (A/N the names of the people aren't really there, but this is just better)

Davy Havok- Vocals

Jade Puget- Guitar

Hunter- Bass

Adam- Drums

_I now have to worship you._ I smiled at myself, it was hard not to like them. Music game me something other than Robin to hold on to.

_Lie in comfort of sweet calamity with nothing left to lose.  
Lie in the darkness, I'm slowly drowned to sleep  
nothing left to lose.  
Three tears I've saved for you.  
I'd retrace the steps that lead me here but nothing lives behind me.  
So I lie in this field bathed in the light that loves me,  
with nothing left to lose.  
Three tears I've saved for you.  
Will you be my beloved?  
Will you help me to get through?  
Will you be my destruction?  
Will you help me to be through?_

Will you Robin?

_Hear one thousand screams.  
Hear one thousand voices.  
A solitary echo.  
Feel one thousand pains,  
But one is receiving a bloody invitation. _

Do you want to feel the warmth?  
To taste the life, to taste the life  
Do you want taste the life?  
To taste the life, to taste the life flow?  
Go, Go

Feel one thousand lost,  
sinking into soft skin.  
Ingest rejuvenation.  
One to consume,  
One to renew.  
Demanded invitation.

Do you want to feel the warmth?  
To taste the life, to taste the life  
Do you want taste the life?  
To taste the life, to taste the life flow?

I offer grace,  
I offer blood.  
I offer everything till my heart is crystal clear.  
I offer grace,  
I offer blood.  
I offer everything till my heart is crystal clear.

Let me taste the life flow.

Do you want to feel the warmth?  
To taste the life, to taste the life  
I want to taste the life.  
To taste the life, to taste the life flow.  
Go, Go, Woah, Go

Life isn't everything it seems, I would hide while I could.

_One more song won't hurt. Hmm… what's Morningstar like?_

A slow beautiful song started up, I closed my eyes and took in the lyrics.

_I saw a star beneath the stairs glowing through the melting walls.  
Who will be the first to begin their fall?  
Or will we become one? _

Am I the star beneath the stairs?  
Am I a ghost upon the stage?  
Am I your anything?

I saw a star beneath the stairs glowing bright before descent  
and in the morning there is nothing left but what's inside of me.

Am I the star beneath the stairs?  
Am I a ghost upon the stage?  
Am I your anything?

Am I the star beneath the stairs?  
Am I a ghost upon the stage?  
Am I your anything?

And I don't want to die tonight; Will you believe in me?  
And I don't want to fall into the light.

Will you wish upon?  
Will you walk upon me?  
I don't want to die tonight.

Will you believe in me tonight.

Am I the star beneath the stairs?  
Am I a ghost upon the stage?  
Am I your anything?

Am I the star beneath the stairs?  
Am I a ghost upon the stage?  
Am I your anything?

I breathed in a deep breath and smiled. I would listen to more tomorrow, but for now I needed to medidate. The music was oddly… soothing, for something so depressing and jarring. I closed my eyes and began to chant…

_I AM SORRY FOR ALL OF THE LYRICS BUT I HAVE BECOME OBSSESED(ER) WITH AFI! THEY REMIND ME OF RAVEN SO MUCH! IF YOU HAVEN'T LISTEND TO THEM GO DO IT RIGHT NOW! Just go to their website: __and you'll find them. I like Head Like a Hole buy you may not, the better songs are on the album, Sing The Sorrow, or The Art of Drowning. The art of drowning is the lyrics that I listed. So… um… Thanks for reading if you did._

_What am I going to do for the next chapter?_

_I don't know… but I'm going to warn you: I'm going to cut MOST of the sap right here, and focus on some amount of plot. So… nobody go: Ohh what happened to all of the romance? It was getting so good. Guess what: I like romance too, but I like angst a lot more._

_My garden is dead_

_The roses fallen_

_No one can pick them_

_No one can help me_

_No one will reach out_

_No one wants a dead rose_

_My garden is dead_

_I can't look at the roses_

_I can't look at you_

_I can't face me_

_I can't see faith_

_My garden is dead_

_I have fallen._

_... Ignore that, or laugh at it. I don't care. Next chapter soon. Review please!_

_And I for one, hope there is some amount of something out there, for someone, because I have lost everything and don't think it's worth going on, but still they push me. Why? I don't know, if I did I would have something against them, but of course that would make my life to easy… er… especially when they have it their way. Stupid burger king. Not meaning to be funny though, or maybe I am. Maybe I just like being laughed at. No, that wouldn't be true, I don't have to lie here. OK, they aren't lies but they're so close to them I call them that. Masks, or acting as my friend calls it. _

_Oh, by the way, this fic was inspired by Ashes (no not an account) my friend, the sequel at least. I wish you would like it: I am sorry for the sap, but I'm clueless on what to do as a plot. I don't want to make them apprentices, I might do something really sad, something that I will hate my fic for. Heh… you'll all hate me, and then I'll make it up with a really random and funny fic, how about that? Sorry Ashes, I know you won't like that one. –Sigh- there is no pleasing everyone is there? So… I'll have to do one for Ashes to, because YOU introduced me to this sight… and I don't know where I would be without it. Well I do, bored out of my skull. And of course, hiding my writing from most human eyes. I don't have any pets so it all works out. This is a long Authors Note, does anyone read this stuff? HEHEHEHE I hope you do. _

_I also think I'm scared. _

_I think I need to let something out too:_

_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_

_WHY DID YOU ELECT HIM AMERICA? WHY WHY WHY? WHY? Sorry if anyone is a republican. BUT:_

_DON'T WANNA BE AN AMERICAN IDIOT, ONE NATION CONTROLLED BY THE MEDIA, AND CAN YOU HEAR THE SOUND OF HYSTERIA? IT'S GOIN' OUT TO IDIOT AMERICA!_

_VERY VERY VERY IMPORTANT: Here is a vote: Should I keep the annoying and pathetic 'fluff' (if you can call it that) between Raven and Robin while find SOME way to match it with whatever plot I come up with? OR, should I do away with it, and have an awesome plot? BUWAHAHAHAHA YOU DECIDE!_

_This is a very long AN… Hmmm… Well, I'll put anyone who reads this out of their misery and just tell them to REVIEW._


	5. Hatred and War Always Walk Hand In Hand

_Ok, so this will be chapter five. _

_Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans, only the 'plot' in this fanfiction. So enjoy it while it lasts._

_All of the above is obvious. _

_Being that paranoid loser I am, this chapter is why the rating is going up…_

**5…**

I came down to breakfast the next morning to meet a very angry Cyborg. "Cyborg, what's wrong?" I asked, wincing at my kindness to the metal man, I wasn't kind to anyone.

"There is going to be… Slade will… We need to watch out ok? Get everyone down here **now**."

I gave him a warning glance that read if-you-don't-tell-me-what's-going-on-I'll-kill-you.

"I'll be back then." I grumbled.

Knocking on everyone's door at seven in the morning wasn't something I ever wanted to do. I gave everyone a heads up and went back to Cyborg. "**What** was it you were trying to say?" I put an emphasis on what, if he was going to play it that way then so would I.

"Slade is planning to attack us."

"With more drones?" I couldn't help but smile at him being so worked up over that, I had defeated half of them with one spell.

"No. You and I both know people are joining one side or the other, he is going to fight us that way, the weak way. We need to get our allies to help us as soon as possible."

I was so surprised I hadn't seen everyone come in to meet us.

"What?"

I turned around, surprised to see it was Beast Boy who spoke. I noticed Robin sink onto the couch and run his fingers through his hair. "Oh no… he wouldn't use them for that? This is just so cruel… I thought they were a threat!" He said to himself.

"What are you talking about Robin? If you have ANY information that you are withholding I kindly suggest you tell us now, rather than later."

"Slade has a type of gun that he invented… they kill instantly the person who the bullet hits, and the others around him or her."

"So…" Beast Boy said.

"So he may implant them in the drones, it won't be all humans we battle."

"Oh." Beast Boy nodded.

"Well need to prepare then. Cyborg, alert as many as you can, Starfire, try to find out where he is planning to attack, Robin and Raven come with me, the rest help wherever you can." Batman said. Robin and I obeyed and followed him to the gym.

"You will need to lead." Batman said. "You, Robin, will control troops, we are depending on you. Especially you Raven. Your powers are one of the strongest thigs we have."

I had never been complimented by Batman before, come to think of it, I didn't know if anyone had.

"Robin, you will guide the troops on land." The cold hard Batman was back. Robin nodded. "I have to go help Starfire track Slade." Batman said as he left.

"I need to help prepare troops." Robin said.

"I need to… medidate." I knew that wasn't going to happen, maybe it would be better if my powers spiraled out of control… maybe it would hurt the enemy.

"They're coming to Jump City." Starfire said. It was four hours later and we hadn't had a sign of anything. I looked over at her computer screen, any minute now the alarm would go off, warning us of danger. They stepped closer to the heart of the city. It should go off… right… now.

BUZZ, BEEP, BUZZ, BEEP.

"Come on." Cyborg said grimly.

We stood there, in front of Slade's army, ours behind us. We glared at one another. Slade smiled a sinister smile, and the first bullet rang through the air. I didn't watch to see if it hurt anyone, I didn't look at anyone, I just yelled. "GO!" I took one last glance at Robin before the fighting began.

"AZARATH, METRION, **ZINTHOS**!" I watched some surprised humans fall, feeling sorry for them, we were supposed to be protecting them. Suddenly someone threw a knife at me.

"DEMON! WITCH!" They screamed. They countinued to follow me, backing me into an ally, the fight raging in front of me, and behind them.

"THIS IS WHERE YOU DIE WITCH!"

I couldn't help it, I rolled my eyes at them. I had laugh at them.

"WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?" They were enraged now.

"This. Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" I blew them across the street, where they hit the wall with a loud thud and fell. Something about their security made me laugh. I decided I would let someone else put them out of their misery and flew above a group of robots, preparing to kill them all. Before they could even shoot they were on the ground in a crippled mass. I sighed, it was a shame to waste our time on them. I looked closer, they had crushed some of the people below them, blood was seeping out from under the drones. I screamed and fired at more of the drones, it was their fault we had to kill innocent people.

_**The people that cause you pain!**_

_No that's not true jealousy!_

_**Yes it is! KILL THEM, IT IS ALL UNFAIR!**_

_NO!_ I was spiraling out of control and I knew it, drones below me exploded, sending shrapnel everywhere. I screamed in pain as jealously tried to completely control my mind, fighting with everything I had against her.

"STOP!" Luckily time didn't freeze. I shuddered at the thought of the time I had yelled that… A person aimed at me, seconds later they were dead. I screamed even louder, hating myself for doing that to them…

I watched in horror as my teammates killed at will, people falling with ease. Were they enjoying it? We are the titans, we are supposed to save! There was no saving now, only pain. I could end it, I knew that, my teammates knew that. If I ended it the world would be in pain and misery would prowl the streets. Another person tried to fire at me, I made a shield around me just in time. The bullet they fired bounced back and pierced their heart. _Killing them with their own hatred._

I watched the troops slowly begin to retreat, I took one glance at my team members.

"DO SOMETHING RAVEN!" Cyborg screamed.

"AZARATH, METRION, ZINTHOS!" I cried. Darkness echoed across the street, many people falling, I sank to the ground.

"What were you doing out there?" Cyborg demanded. "Day dreaming?"

"Witch!" The cry broke out, a bullet rang through the air. Before I could react something slashed my arm. I screamed in pain.

"Cyborg calm down!" Robin said.

"We'll meet again titans!"

"SHU-" Beast Boy started, Starfire hushed him.

"Not now. Now we need to get Raven back."

Cyborg walked over to me.

"I'M FINE!" I shouted, my eyes glowing crimson. He backed away.

"Look, I'm just trying to help."

"GET. AWAY. NOW." I flew back to the tower, hiding in my room I bandaged my cut, after pulling the bullet out.

I screamed in pain as I felt for the bullet, it was deep in my wound. I had to push it out, tearing my arm even more. The gash opened wider, more blood flowing out. Finally I had it out. I looked down at my floor, blood stained it. I grunted and slipped on a bandage. The blood was beginning to stop. I wished I had enough powers to heal myself, but wishing never worked, instead pain shot up and down my arm.

"Raven?" Cyborg knocked on my door. The window started to crack.

"What?" I snapped.

"Are you OK? I'm sorry about…"

"DON'T BE!" The window shattered, shards of glass flying everywhere.

"Raven what are you doing?"

I looked at the window and started to run towards it, I jumped out, shards of glass tearing at my skin, I didn't care. I just wanted to get out, to be free.

"Raven!" Cyborg had opened the door and was staring at me fly out. I was out of my cage, free, soaring, bleeding… but free.

MUWAHAHAH! Ok… I shouldn't be laughing. Where will Raven go? Where did that impulse come from? Will this be a big part of my story? Um… I don't know so help me. I hope you enjoyed this erm… chapter. Pardon the rating but, I found it um… needed to go up, but maybe I'm just being 'overprotective'? Overprotective of WHAT though? I don't know… Maybe it should just be PG. But whatever… SO…

**REVIEW!**

**I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR MY NEXT CHAPTER, HELP ME NOW!**


	6. Alone, But Free

Some of us are perfectly acceptant of being insane, others refuse to admit it. I think we all are, at least a little bit. Admit it, you have moments where you wonder about your perfect sanity? Where you experience nothing… no pain, just a longing for freedom. Oh wait, everything but wondering about my perfect sanity is my own story. This is my freedom. This is my escape, my nirvana as I like to call it. My nirvana… my freedom, my hope, my joy, my rebellion, my hatred, my sorrow, my soul. Me, I'd sell my soul in a heartbeat. My love… I forgot love. Love is something I hate to experience and refuse to admit to. Though I use to phrase 'make love not war' maybe I'm just a hippie at heart… I don't care, all I know is I'm me, and I refuse to be anything else. I'm still trying to find me, but someone is here to help me. He just doesn't realize it yet. But he will… when I get courage. But that's beside the point. The point is, I'm lost for this chapter. I don't know what I'm going to do… I just know someone is going to die soon, I'm just not sure who. Give me some suggestions so I can change them and shock everyone. Heh, just kidding. –tries to ignore angry readers- It's not working… oh well. –glares back at crowd- No, I'm just kidding, again. I'm not a mean person, sometimes. Some people tell me I'm too nice, and try to help me be cruel, of course I pretend to go along with it and lose the mask as soon as they leave. Masks…. That's what I call it when I hide myself from the people I consider my friends. Two know me, and one knows they know me. I'm waiting to tell the other. He'll understand… I think. I hope… I should stop thinking about it now, and just let you get on with the chapter. I'm sorry if it seemed like I gave up my story, I didn't. No worries Mon.

No worries…

No worries…

None at all…

If only the world is as perfect as people say it is.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Boulevard of Broken Dreams OR Teen Titans! Or Batman, Wonderwoman, Superman, and Batgirl! THEY ARE OWNED BY FANCY RICH PEOPLE WHO WILL PROBABLY SUE ME! Same with Green Day! **

I like AFI and Green Day. Then I likeThe Offspring.I am one weird kid.

* * *

**6…**

Freedom. I've been called a bird with clipped wings, maybe I am, but I'm free now. I'm soaring away… I'm looking back at the tower, Robin is on the roof watching me leave. I'm tempted to wave, but I don't. I'm leaving them while they need me most. Starfire is coming behind Robin now, trying to help him, trying to make him stop.

"Don't fall Robin!" She cries. I don't care anymore, I'm free. I love Robin, but I can't stay in there, no not forever. I have to get out, he'll understand, when I come back. When will I come back? A year? A month? To long for wonder boy, I know he won't wait. Not with Starfire standing behind him. No, I'll come back to a happy loving couple, being alone is how it should be. I'm Raven, 'Ice Princess.' I hate the term, I don't _do_ the whole princess thing. I smile to myself, I can fight Slade from the back. Alone, in the streets of Gotham. That's where I'll be… in Gotham City, free from them, alone. I smiled to myself, thinking about 'Boulevard Of Broken Dreams'. _They don't know lonely._

I walk a lonely road  
The only one that I have ever known  
Don't know where it goes  
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street  
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams  
Where the city sleeps  
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone  
I walk alone

I walk alone  
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,  
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line  
That divides me somewhere in my mind  
On the border line  
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines  
What's fucked up and everything's alright  
Check my vital signs  
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone  
I walk alone

I walk alone  
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah  
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone  
I walk a...

I walk this empty street  
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams  
Where the city sleeps  
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone...

* * *

So uh… it was short, but I'll make up for it.

**THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE SET ONE YEAR LATER!** Just to know.

Now…

**REVIEW!** See the pretty button? You like the pretty button… click the button!


	7. Do You Really Know What Being Alone Feel...

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans or any of the other characters that I use. Or any songs that I use. I meant Catwoman in the last disclaimer!

Ok, I've tried different versions of Chapter 7, and guess what, I _never_ redo my work. Usually I'll skim through it, make sure everything is OK, because if I really re-read it I know I won't be perfectly happy. So as soon as I finish a chapter it's posted. That's why they are so… weird. Or good as I've been told. I thank you for your kind reviews. But come on, I can't be _that_ good. There has to be something wrong! Maybe it's just me not being able to face the fact that I'm FINALLY GOOD AT SOMETHING! I've been told I'm smart n' stuff… but when it comes to sports, or music (usually, I mean there have been exceptions), or art I'm just not that great… But this, this beats everything! I'M GOOD AT SOMETHING! I'm happy, oh so happy. Ok… ignore this, I just woke up, and it's 11:44 AM, so I'm probably kind of hungry too… OH WELL WRITING COMES FIRST!

I'M TAKING OFF THE ALTERNATE ENDINGS TO HATREDS COST: DON'T BE OFFENDED! IF YOU WANT THEM THEN… Maybe I'll repost but, I don't' like them very much.

Oh, and to **Chica De Ojos Café**: I hope you don't mind that I used your phrase… -bows down, 'forgive me almighty writer!'- it was just so good I couldn't resist! It was the truth. Or 'Da truth yo' as they say at my school. –Shudders- Find a happy place, find a happy place. ONWARD WE GO… CHAPTER SEVEN… RIGHT… ABOUT…. NOW:

* * *

**7…**

I smile and look at the drones in front of me. _Only 100? To easy Slade. You're weakening._ I say my words and protect myself against the lasers they fire at me. I sigh and force a ball of dark magic to the drones. Sighing as I kill 15 of them right off the bat. I stare forward and concentrate, people are on the other side. A bird-a-rang flies at me.

_A bird-a-rang? What's Boy Blunder doing here?_ I ignore my thoughts and keep firing. I didn't need to see Robin, or Nightwing as he liked to be called now. I laughed at the times I heard the name, 'Nightwing is such an amazing fighter, 'Oh, he's so hot when he fights!' Not so hot now are we Nightwing? I watch him almost get hit by a drone I send flying his way. I'm testing him, and now he's curious. I'm sure he knows it's me messing with him. The silent Raven that fights in the dark, alone. I know they need me back though, and the thought scares me. We've been weakening. Slade hasn't. People are scared and fleeing to one side, and for some… life has not changed. They are unaware that the fight involves them, who they follow. I know the ditzy girls who think Nightwing is 'hot' will follow him. And the boys that seem to stalk me will follow me. I fire at the drones, and so does Cyborg, I can't help but wonder how he's doing. Things have to be tough over there. I have dodged their futile attempts of finding me, and until recently I'm sure they believe I am dead. Or maybe they still do, I don't know. And the scariest part, part of me doesn't care.

"Raven!" Nightwing's cry breaks out across the street and I flinch. I didn't want to be found this way.

"Nightwing, what are you talking about?" Starfire asks. I watch her put a hand on Nightwing's shoulder.

"I saw Raven!"

"Naw, no way man. Raven's dead. We would have found her by now if she wasn't." Cyborg said.

"She. Is. Not. Dead." Nightwing is persistent, and for a second almost sounded like… me. I frown and sigh, I must need to go back. They need me, and part of me needs them. The other part remains alone. The side of me that no one can see.

"No Cyborg, I'm not dead." I float easily in front of them. "I just don't want to be found."

"Raven!" Beast Boy screamed.

"Yes. In person, right here, live." I say sarcasticly.

"Well yeah, obviously…"

"You're just as pathetic as you were when I left you." I turn to Robin.

"Raven you're here."

"Yes Boy Blunder, I'm here."

"He goes by Nightwing I believe." Said Starfire.

"Yes, I know. But he will always be 'Boy Blunder', 'Bird Brain', or," I pause to show a small smile, "'Traffic Light.'"

"I'm not a traffic light anymore! My costume is blue and black- I have stealth now."

"Yes, it's hard to find darker colors. Which is why traffic lights are so bright." I said.

Nightwing smiled. "Welcome back Raven."

"Pudding?" Starfire asked, they were standing in the kitchen of the tower, and Starfire wanted to celebrate. I sighed.

"No thanks Starfire." I said.

"Yeah… I'm good." Beast Boy agreed.

"I have to agree with grass stain on this one." Cyborg nodded.

"What about you friend Robin?" Starfire asked.

"NO REALLY! I'M FINE!" Robin said a little bit too quickly.

Starfire shrugged off her friends comments. Things had almost seemed so _normal_ to Raven. _Maybe they've changed since I left. Maybe they aren't so hard and uncaring._

"In that case… I suppose I shall train." Starfire said.

_**Maybe not.**_

_Knowledge! Go back to Nevermore!_

_**You know you need me. You know you aren't supposed to be here.**_

_And just why would that be?_

_**You belong alone. **_

_I do not. I have the Titans._

_**It is no use lying to yourself.**_

_AZARATH, METRION, ZINTHOS!_ I pushed knowledge out of my mind, back into the hell the was Nevermore.

"Yeah… I have to go work on that new program for Batman." Cyborg said.

"I uh… am going to… train." Beast Boy said weakly. "Superman says I am to weak, and I need to work on combat."

"So that just leaves us." Nightwing said.

I turned to stare at him. "Look, you've been with Starfire for half of the past year. Don't look at me like that." I inwardly cringed at my words, but it wouldn't be fair to myself if I let him get close to me. I looked out the window, he had been part of the reason I had left, no matter how much I didn't want to face it.

"I know! But she is nothing compared to you Raven! You offer me so much, you love me, you cared, and you reached out to me! If it wasn't for you I would still be with Slade right now! I need you!"

"No, you don't." My words were hurting him, I knew it. I felt childish, fighting with him.

"Raven you-"

"I what? Need you? I don't need anyone! I wasn't going to come back!" I glared at him.

"You… you weren't?"

"NO!" A lightbulb shattered. I sighed and used my powers to clean it up. "I wasn't."

"What? Why?"

"Because I was fine on my own! You need me, I don't need you! I have lived alone almost all of my life! I know what I need and what I don't." I spun away from Robin and started to walk out of the room. He put a hand on my shoulder and turned me back to him.

"I know you don't need us. I know we need you. I know you don't need to be alone! You have friends Raven, as much as you don't want to admit it you do!"

"Oh yeah? Friens who sent drones out to find me? Slade's drones that they had converted at that! You call that friendship?"

"I WENT OUT EVERY NIGHT LOOKING FOR YOU BEHIND THEIR BACKS! THEY HAD TO STOP ME FROM GOING OUT BECAUSE I WASN'T SLEEPING OR EATING ENOUGH! You know what you did to me? DO YOU?"

"I made you desperate. I made you so desperate you forgot me and went after Starfire! I'm sorry you wasted your time!"

"How can you do this Raven? How can you do this to me? I thought… I thought you loved…" He trailed off.

"THOUGHT I LOVED? I DO LOVE! My love gives so much! It gave you so much you gave me up and went to Starfire! Is that love? I WAITED FOR SIX YEARS! SIX YEARS! THAT'S HOW I FREED YOU FROM SLADE! THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES, PATIENCE! You have no patience!"

"I know what you went through!"

"No. You. Don't. No. One. Does. Don't. Ever. Say. You. Know. What. I. Went. Through."

"Raven please! I DO NOT LOVE STARFIRE! I WENT OUT WITH HER ONCE, ONCE!"

I glared at him.

"She is like a little sister to me! I just wanted to see if… if maybe you were gone, I needed someone, I just wanted to see if she could help me! But she couldn't Raven! No one could! I was alone! You left, and I almost killed myself! You turned around one last time and then flew off! STARFIRE HAD TO HOLD ME BACK!"

He was on the verge of falling to his knees, for me.

"Robin…" The word slipped, I realized he was not Robin. He was Nightwing. "Sorry… Nightwing."

"No, I don't care what you call me."

"I didn't know." I said flatly.

"Please don't leave me… not again."

I had to give into his hug as he wrapped his arms around me. "Please."

"Don't beg." I said. "I don't want to hear you beg. That is only a weakness."

He smiled. "Same old Raven."

* * *

Hmmph... it's kind of short. Sigh... I'VE GOT WRITERS BLOCK HELP ME!

I'm clueless as what to do for the next chapter, BUT MAYBE YOU WILL HELP ME? I need ideas man, IDEAS! So… REVIEW! Hmm… maybe I'll do some flashbacks to Raven's past year? Maybe, maybe not. YOU DECIDE! JUST REVIEW!

**Just another hopeless reminder: Alternate endings for Hatreds Cost are goin' down! I don't like them! I hope you don't hate me for it, but they are just confusing…**


	8. Memories Aren't Always Sweet

**Disclaimer: Don't sue, I only own mike and my plot… if you call this a plot! NONE OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS I USE! **

Um… wow. I'm flattered! THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING:

Wickedwitch9: I made you cry? Whoa… I'm sorry, it must have been _good_ then! So pardon me for taking your sorrow as a compliment.

Titanfan: I'm flattered. Thank you! (I think…)

Chica De Ojos Café: Heh… yeah. I can have an excuse not to make him so immature… although making him perverted is fun… HEHEHEHEHE! Thank you for not being offended, but some people always go: 'I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU COPIED YOU ARE SUCH A LOSER!' And then they freak. But I'm glad you don't mind! And that it sounded good! Hmm… I'll try to twist in your suggestion, I like it. Actually… that's going to be fun with Robin. EHEHEHEHEHE! I'm going to go write it now! Well one would hope I would write it and not just sit here staring at my screen…

Nyoko Iso: Perfect. Suicide, torture… Yes… This is going to be an interesting twist. And what will Robin do when he hears about it? I thank you for your review, you have helped me **greatly.** I'm so glad you like, no love my fic! I'm so happy:Beams:

**By the way: Bold is flashback. **

Now onto CHAPTER EIGHT!

* * *

**8…**

I glare out my window, watching the sun sink into the water. Part of me is happy to be back at the tower, another part wants to leap out of the window again. I turn around to my room. Empty. Black, and empty.

Nightwing was staying in Superman's old bedroom, Superman had decided to move in with Wonderwoman. Neither of them are ever here, they are always at a different camp fighting Slade. We just stay here watching Jump City for any signs of future attack. It's 'safer' for the 'younger generation' if we stay 'out of harms way.'

I begin to wonder if it's better that I'm alone.

Xx Flashback Xx 

**I stare at the shards of my mirror wonder if I should just end it. Going to back to the Titans would be useless to all of us… he has left me. They don't want me. I don't want me… I shake my head. **_No. I will not give into this! I have to stay strong**… **_**But putting myself through the torture of knowing you weren't needed was harder than I had thought it would be at the beginning of the year. I find myself lightly grazing my arm with the shard of glass wonder if I should… **_No Raven, don't. _

**Xx Flashback End Xx**

I don't want to remember those nights… the nights where I felt I wasn't needed. The nights were being alone finally caught up to me. But I've made it this far, and there isn't any turning back. I wish I could just stay uneeded… by Slade at least. I shuddered.

Zz Flashback Zz 

"**You will be a wonderful apprentice Raven!" Slade's cruel, mocking voice rang out across the room I was being held in. I had been in this posistion before, and I was not going to relive it.**

"**Never. I am above you, and I refuse to sink to your level."**

"**You are forgetting you already have."**

"**But I escaped your weak powers." I glared at him, a resentment in my eyes, willing him to say something.**

"**Only with the help of your robotic friend Cyborg. Without him you would still be here. You are weak Raven." He said after a small pause. "Very weak." **

**I felt the knife press against my skin again. Cutting across my stomach, digging… pulling across, pushing down into my skin. Blood forced its way out of the wound. Slade laughed and pushed down harder. **

**I refused to scream. **

"**This doesn't hurt Raven? Then this will!" Slade took a burning stick of metal and stuck it into my wound. A sharp pain dug through me as the strip of metal cut and burned my already torn flesh. I bit back a cry of pain, biting so hard my lip began to bleed. **

**Slade let a small smile show on his face. **

"**Go to sleep Raven."**

**I gasped. "Not under your watch!"**

"**Fine." He pushed a button and an electric shock shattered through me. "This one opens old wounds." **

**I felt the scars on my arms tear open, the ones he had given me six years ago. The ones from last night, the scabs from earlier today. Slade thought he had won… but I remained awake. I wasn't about to be found by the Titans like this. They will never see me vulnerable.**

**Zz Flashback End Zz**

I shivered at the thought of Slade… amazed at how I had escaped him. It had involved a strong control over my powers, his cuffs that held me to the wall had the defect of letting slips of my powers out at a time, so over the days I had gotten the cuffs lose enough to escape. I had watched the Titans arrive a day later, of course to find a robot Slade, the real man long gone. I had hidden in the shadows and watched them defeat the drone and search for me. No trace of me was to be found. I always left before them, and arrived after. No matter what.

I turn back to the window, the last rays of sun have faded out of the sky, leaving a weak grey. Behind the grey black draped over the city, curtaining us from the sun.

"Raven?"

Robin knocked on my door.

"Yes?" I say.

"Do you want to come out for a little while?"

It's more of a command then a question, so I decide to obldige, just to make them happy. "Fine."

I step out of my room.

"So I hear you went out with somone by the name of Mike. A civillian. That you met."

I smile. "Yes." My smile turns into a frown. "He was working for Slade." Mike was who had led me to Slade, me foolishly thinking he could replace Robin.

"Oh… er… right. Sorry."

"You were jealous weren't you?"

"No. Nope. Not at all. No way. I'm NOT jealous that you went out with another boy because you left and you wanted to see someone because you were lonely… NOT AT ALL!"

"You were. It's ok, I understand. We didn't go out for very long if that makes you happy."

"You broke up with him when you found out he was working for Slade?"

"We'll just go with that." I said.

"Raven, what have you been doing for the past year?"

"You don't need to know, nor want to know. So don't ask." _Oh challenging my self worth… wondering if I should die… being tortured, saving you, not being found by you, the usual._

"Raven, we are your team members, we should know."

"No, you shouldn't. And I'm not going to tell you, not yet at least. So don't press it. Or I'll leave and you'll never find out."

That shut him up.

"Don't… not again."

I looked at his masked eyes. "I won't. I couldn't do that to you or… me."

"What do you mean?"

I put a finger to his lips. "You don't want to know. I've told you this. Just trust me."

* * *

NO Raven is NOT a cutter! She was NOT a cutter! So I want NO FLAMES on that, if you don't like it, DON'T READ IT.

So… I thank my kind reviewers for helping me! What wonderful ideas!

NOW PLEASE REVIEW! Because… grr I'm stuck again. Shall I bring Slade into the picture? Or not? What about a really useless fluffy (if you call the 'fluff' that I write fluff) chapter? Whatever you decide!

Hit the button, the nice pretty button… you like the button! YOU LOVE THE BUTTON! HIT IT, HIT IT, HIT IT!


	9. Pain is a Weakness

I don't have much anything to say but:

Thank you for your kind reviews!

Titanfan: I didn't take it the wrong way! Haha, it was funny! I just had some trouble understanding your review because of some of the typos, so I guessed and said, 'IT MUST BE GOOD' then I plugged my ears and didn't listen to anything but the voices in my head.

Xlife: Thanks, I'll try to update as much as I can but with that thing they call school… for me it's just something to fill the time when I'm not writing or boring my friends (shock of all shocks I have friends) when I call them. Heh… I'm insane.

Raven-Fieryblack: Good you've read both. I'm glad you love it! I'm so happy that people like this… I just wonder _why_ you people like it.

Chica De Los Ojos Café: Thank you! Yes, it was a good suggestion, and it tied in so well. When people gave me ideas, I started to write and… well it came out interesting. I'm actually happy with it. Yeah, everything and anything on the internet is copied. Especially pictures of a certain band member of a certain band cough AFI cough that I like… but that's a different story. I think Mike I will have fun with Mike no matter how much I despise him for causing Raven pain. (And it's my story! I hate my own character! AHAHAHAHAHA) Slade is eeeevil! Yeah, he's goin' down yo! IT'S ON SLADE! COME ON, BRING IT!

Slade: what?

Me: NOOOOOOOO! DON'T HURT MEEEEEEEEEEEE! Can I have your autograph?

Slade: You will die now.

Me: coweres behind chair

Nyoko Iso: I'm glad you hit the button! happy dance, I got a review Thank you _for_ your ideas. I would still be stuck without them. And don't call yourself attention seeking! I'm just to lazy to constantly check everywhere for stories. I loved it by the way, in case you don't get my review. Yes… the fluff was good. turns to Robin, see that should be you.

Robin: Shut up.

Me: You looove Raaaveeen!

Robin: Die.

Back to Nyoko Iso I'm a great writer? Wow… Thank you. So are you! And an awesome reviewer (arrrrgh cliché –twitch, twitch-)

Ok, so I hope you like this chapter, sorry if I forgot anyone, no offense if I did. Unless your flaming me. Then I am _not_ sorry.

* * *

**9…**

Time with the Titans. _Do it for them. Not for you, them. They want to see you, you need to be with people right now anyways Raven._ I tried to tell myself that it was for the better I stepped out of my room, into the light with the others. I could feel Robin shooting be glances, wondering about me, what I had done without them. How he hadn't found me. I caught a small smile start to form on my lips and forced a frown.

"So Raven…" Cyborg starts casually as I sit down on the couch. "What have you been doing for the past year."

_Is this really better for me?_ I ask myself.

"Nothing."

"Oh come on, you have to of been doing something!" Beast Boy says.

"Nothing."

"Yes you have Raven! Are you Slade's apprentice or something?"

"NO! You don't want to know what I've been through!"

"Yes we do Raven!"

"Fine…"

"So tell us then Raven!" Beast Boy said.

"Beast Boy, Raven may not wish to tell us for a reason…" Starfire said.

"What, does it have something to do with Trigon? Because I think we should know!"

"It has nothing to do with Trigon." I glared at Beast Boy. "It has nothing to do with you."

"I think it does!"

"FINE! Slade found me again."

"How did he find you and not us!" Beast Boy demanded.

"He looked." I retorted.

"What did he do?" Fury danced in Beast Boy's eyes, an emotion I had never seen in him. The others sat in a stony silence.

"What do you think he did? He tortured me!"

"Why didn't we find you?" Robin yelled. "We went to every spot Slade was, and once we found…" The boy wonder faltered for a moment, "We found knives soaked in blood, and cuffs danlging from the wall! How did you escape?"

"I didn't want to be found." I said bluntly.

"Why Raven?"

"Because I can't sit here and watch my friends change, for the worse, with nothing I can do about it! I needed to get away! I felt useless! I wasn't doing anything but causing pain." I told them they didn't need to know.

We sat in silence for a moment before Cyborg spoke.

"We have not changed Raven, it is you. You have become a…a coward."

The person I had once looked up to as an older brother now glared down at me.

"Oh? I have?" I asked, sarcasm dripping from my voice.

"Yes! You left because you were scared, because you couldn't face us." Cyborg said.

"You can't even begin to understand why I left." I said venomously.

"Cyborg stop, now." Robin said.

"No. I want to hear what he has to say." I said. Robin stopped talking and sank back into his chair. Beast Boy was a paler green than usual, and Starfire was floating in shock.

"I can't believe you Raven, for someone who has to fight a demon, you should be strong. You can't even face your friends."

"You- you work for- for him." I shot the words at him. "I can feel it! THAT IS WHY YOU DIDN'T WANT TO FIND ME, YOU KNEW I WOULD KNOW!"

Cyborg looked at me in a mixture of shock and hatred. "I do NOT work for Slade!"

"Raven, please, Cyborg would not." Starfire said.

"Oh yeah, then prove it!"

The alarm went off before anyone could say anything.

"I'll prove it in battle." Cyborg grumbled at me.

I glared at him. Robin walked beside me. "What?" I snapped. "Oh… sorry Robin I didn't mean to snap."

"I understand. Nevermind, I can tell you later, come on. We need to go."

I looked in horror at what stood in front of me. There were no drones, only people. People looking for blood. Batman had called our troops and we stood facing eachother. I didn't want to kill them. Even my demon side had some sympathy for the pathetic attempts they were going to make. Cyborg lunged forward, a second to late, or a second to soon. I saw them fire the gun. His robot side would of course feel nothing, but the pain coursing through his human veins would be intense. I looked at the murderer in horror.

"AZARATH, METRION, ZINTHOS!" No part of me felt sympathy now. I was holding the human by his neck, my eyes crimson. "How do you feel about yourself?" I hissed.

"I feel fine."

"Stubborn aren't we?"

Anger was taking control over me, I could do nothing to stop her. I screamed as she gained control of my actions. (**bold is anger talking/commanding raven**)

"**What do you think you are doing?**" I growled. "**Killing for no reason? Murder is what you have done. You fired before your masters command. I'm going to kill before I am commanded to and we will be even.**" I began to choke the man, watching his face distort and turn blue before he finally fell. I threw him to the ground.

"Raven!" I faintly heard someone calling me.

"**What?**"

"RAVEN! SNAP OUT OF IT!" It was Robin speaking. I tried to clear my head.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos." I chanted. I felt myself returning to my normal state. Many of the windows around me were broken, the road was destroyed, and several people lay dead. Starfire was tending to Cyborg while Beast Boy fought alongside Bumblebee, Batman, Wonderwoman, and Superman. Our troops were charging relentlessly, I knew this would not be a battle we lost.

"Are you OK?" Robin asked me.

"Yes, I'll be fine." I lied. I was still shaking.

"Allright…" Robin said.

I glared ahead. They would pay. I would not forget Cyborg like this. Not ever. He wouldn't die knowing I hated him.

_I'm sorry Cy, I believe you._

_Raven?_

_Yes?_

_  
How are you doing…_

_Telekenetic powers. Don't ask. You were an amazing leader, I'm sorry I doubted you Cy. Thanks for everything._

_Thank's Rae… I'm… sorry… For earlier, you are… amazing._

_Goodbye Cy._

_Goodbye Rae._

His last thougts. At least… At least he knew I didn't… I didn't want to finish that thought, not wanting to know what I would do to myself if he had died thinking I thought he worked for Slade. If he was, Slade wouldn't have killed him. Not like that. I push the thougts out of my mind and focus on fighting. Nothing but battle. It's all that seems to matter now.

* * *

**Oh my… looks like something has changed in Raven too! PLOT TWIST! Betcha didn't see that coming! You were expecting a nice fluffy chapter weren't ya? Well, I agree with **Wickedwitch9**. PLEASE REVIEW! TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK, WHAT YOU WANT, WHAT YOU THINK I'M GOING TO DO NEXT! BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW!**

**THANK YOU TO THOSE THAT HAVE REVIEWED!**


	10. A Talk to Wash Away The Pain

Well… Chapter 10. You asked for it. Oh, and at some point in this chapter I'm going to lose the whole Nightwing thing… heh… I don't know why exactly, it's more of a 'hey, why not?' kind of thing.

**10…**

I glared at them all. Batman, WonderWoman, Superman, Catwoman, Starfire, Beast Boy, and Nightwing. I ignored their attempted comforts. It was _not_ ok. I didn't care what they said right now. Cyborg had always been there, through thick and thin. And now he wasn't. All because of Slade. This didn't seem to phase the others, they seemed to feel good about themselves. _Only because we won the battle! But we lost Cyborg! _

"Come on Raven cheer up, it'll be ok!" Beast Boy said, "Besides, we won!"

"Won what? A battle? You call that winning? We did _not_ win! We _lost_! We lost Cyborg! We lost a part of ourselves! That's not winning."

"Raven, we have defeated more of Slade's army, that's what matters right now." WonderWoman said. I glared at her, suddenly the TV exploded.

"That. Is. Not. What. Matters." I growled. "Battle. Is. Not. Everything. I WILL **NOT** LET YOUR WEAKNESSES TAKE ME!"

WonderWoman was just about to open her mouth when Superman stopped her.

"Don't." He said. "It will just make things worse."

"I'm going to medidtate." I grumbled.

"Raven, wait!" Nightwing ran to catch up with me.

"What?" I snapped.

"I'm… sorry. Cy was close to me too… I know-"

"You know how I feel? NO ONE KNOWS HOW I FEEL!"

"I didn't mean that! I mean… I'm here."

"I know you're here, you're everywhere I go! You haunted me for a whole year, believe me, you are here."

"What do you mean?"

"I dreamed about you guys, I did miss you, at points."

"Let's go talk down at the lake, it'll be easier."

I nodded. "Fine."

We were sitting staring out at the open water, watching the moon rise.

"I didn't want to come back. I should have just flown away! Slade could have found me and we wouldn't of had this battle, and Cyborg would still be alive."

Nightwing had been leaning on my shoulder. His head suddenly jerked up. "Don't blame yourself for this Raven, it isn't your fault. Even I have outgrown blaming myself."

It was true, Nightwing was open to letting someone else take the blame instead of bashing his head against a wall until someone was able to drill through his skull it wasn't his fault.

We sat in silence for awhile.

"I told you about Mike." I said bluntly.

"Yes…"

"I told you it was he who led me to Slade. He pretended to take me on a 'surprise date' and led me to one of Slade's hideouts. I was tortured, he tried to make me his apprientice," I paused, "Again."

"Where is he?" Nightwing growledd.

"He's dead. He served his purpose for Slade."

Nightwing relaxed a little. "Sorry I just…"

I let a small smile show on my face. "Just what Nightwing?"

"Nothing." He said, trying to cover the fact that he was blushing.

I smiled to myself. How Boy Wonder cheered me up was still a mystery to me, one that I wouldn't solve, but he managed to. He didn't fill up the hole Cyborg had left. He didn't put back together my shattered heart. He couldn't begin to understand what a year of solitude could do to a person. He didn't understand the pain I went through every night. No, he could never fill those wounds, not all the way. The painful memories will always be open gashes in my skin. No one could help me with those wounds. They will remain. I knew it, and he knew it. Even if no one wanted to face it.

"Raven…" He started.

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry… about… this year. I promise, next year, next year will be better."

"Promises aren't always kept. Didn't we promise nothing would go wrong once?"

He looked at me, a look of sorrow not even his mask could hide. "Yes." Bitterness edged his voice. "We did." He pulled me into a hug, which I returned. "We did…" He whispered, more to himself than me. (I'm doing flashbacks in italics now)

_Flashback_

"_Rae- oh Robin and Raven, sorry, I'll come back." Cyborg said, laughing._

_Robin pulled his lips from mine. "Yes Cyborg?" He asked._

"_Well… we are supposed to be training, not against a wall with Raven, unless of course this is part of some course that I don't know of. In that case, yo' Bee!"_

"_Hah, hah. Fine. We'll start then."_

"_I didn't think you were the type to give up training! But I guess guys will do anything to keep a girl that doesn't smack them upside the head and call them a pervert every five minutes."_

End Flashback 

I tried to stop thinking about Cyborg, but at least better thoughts haunted me, the times I had enjoyed. The times I wouldn't feel again.

"It's OK Raven…"

I'd almost forgotten whose shoulder I was leaning on.

"No matter how many times you say that it is not, and will not, be okay."

The Boy Wonder sighed. "I'm sorry…" He whispered.

I looked at him. "For what?"

"For… for changing."

"Changing? None of us can help that, I know it. I just… hate it."

"But I changed the most Raven, I'm surprised you can't see it."

"You just changed your name. You just wanted to feel better about yourself. You have not changed. You are still Robin."

"You're right. I shouldn't try to grow up to fast, it's just once you left I was depressed and…"

"Don't finish."

"Robin. I'm Robin. Not Nightwing. Robin."

"Star will be happy."

"Yes, she hates Nightwing." Robin agreed.

"She loves Robin." I said.

He sighed. "I know. But," He turned to me, "I love you. And… if I was just stronger, then things would be better right now, things would have been better then. We could have defeated Slade if we had been a team!"

"Robin, don't blame yourself." _If we are pointing fingers then I should be blamed, I knew I couldn't have him then, if I just hadn't reached out…_

"You're right." He stood up and offered a hand to me. I took it and we walked back to the tower.

"I'm going to get it when we get back up there." I mumbled.

"No, you're not. They've had a chance to calm down."

I nodded, wishing I could believe him.

But I couldn't. I knew it, he knew it. They wouldn't cool down, they hated my outbursts. At least they weren't as bad as they used to be, as I grow older I seem to control my emotions more.

"Looks like the birds are back." WonderWoman said. I knew she didn't like me, I just wished she didn't have to show it so much.

"Yes." I said. "We're back."

_What **have** you been doing?_ I could just hear Cyborg's voice coming to save us from the cruel rantings of whoever was in the room.

"After insulting us, the running out on us, I hope your feel much better." WonderWoman said.

"Yes, we're fine." Robin said.

"Where's the TV?" I asked, ignoring WonderWoman.

"Yeah… uhm… We're not getting a new one. It's not like we need it or anything."

"WHAT?" I yelled. A window cracked and the couch was floating in the air.

"You want the TV or something Raven?" Beast Boy asked.

"NO!" I sighed and set the couch back down. "I want the Titans back!"

"What are you talking about Raven! Stop talking about us like that! We're still here!"

"Cyborg would agree!" I was falling into hysterics and I knew it. I needed to calm down.

"Don't talk about Cyborg." Beast Boy growled. He was shaking. "I don't want to hear it!"

I backed up. I had never seen Beast Boy do that… and I never wanted to again.

"Raven." I felt Robin's hand on my shoulder. "Calm down."

_I CAN'T!_ I needed his help… I crumpled to the floor screaming, my emotions spiraling out of my control.

"RAVEN CALM DOWN!" WonderWoman's voice was faint.

"YOU'RE YELLING WON'T HELP HER!" Robin's voice was also far away.

Raven, calm down! 

_I can't!_

_Yes… Breathe!_

_**She needs love right now, not help, love.** _Knowledge glared at the figure of Robin that was now standing in Raven's mind.

Love? 

Love. You love her, she needs you. They show her now love, and now that Cyborg is gone…

_What do you mean Cyborg?_

_**He was like a brother to her.** _Knowledge went on patiently.

Right… 

I felt two strong arms pick me up… I was confused. I couldn't wake up! Nevermore was out of my control. I heard doors creak and break as we walked past, vases shatter, and cries of hatred behind us. Robin had been in my mind, I knew that much. He had been there to help me. Now where were we going?

My question was answered when I felt soft summer winds stroke my face, and Robin's hands.

"Raven… please."

**_Kiss her!_ **Knowledge demanded.

I… she doesn't want me! 

_**She DOES!**_

Lips were pressed to mine, pulling me closer. I felt calm… easy… relaxed. Things stopped exploding, just floating… I was managing to reign my emotions in.

"Raven?" Robin whispered.

I looked at his masked eyes, my amethyst eyes searching for an answer. He pulled me into a hug. I fell into his chest and did the last thing either of us expected. I cried. Robin wrapped his arms even tighter around me. I buried my face in his chest, just crying.

"Oh Raven, I'm sorry…" He stroked my hair affectionately.

"It's not your fault." I managed to get out. "It's just… all of them… changing… WonderWoman pulling them away, to… to a more serious side. They all used to be so fun loving. Cyborg was starting to see my point before… before…" I was crying again, back onto his chest, hidden behind his embrace. Feeling his sorrow, his anger, his understanding. I wondered where I would be right now if I hadn't connected to him, if I hadn't gotten enough sense to ask him for help.

"WonderWoman doesn't mean too, it's just how she is. She's going through a tough time right now, she'll be back to normal soon."

_Normal. At least she could be normal._

_Don't think that! You are perfect the way you are, and you arent' abnormal._

_  
Oh, it's just everyone else that is different, I'm really the normal one._

_Who cares?_

Happiness shined its was into our minds. _I don't._

_I don't. I love you Raven._

_Do you?_

_I do. I love you with everything._

_I love you Robin._

We sat and looked at the moon, Robin managed to snake his arm around my waist. I had to admit to myself I didn't mind.

Well, chapter 10. It's shorter than it was going to be, but oh well. I apoligize for the sap! Forgive me… please…

**Well REVIEW! And… TELL ME WHY YOU LIKE IT! thank you **Raven-Fieryblack**, you rock! And all of my other reviewers!**

**I'LL HAVE AN UPDATE SOON I PROMISE! Don't hurt meee! I uh… just have to figure out what to do. EHEHEHEHE! I suppose I should bring Slade back in the picture… Anywas… review, review, and of course, review!**


	11. The Pain of Losing, Can You Gain?

Ok… well. Chapter 11. I didn't know if I would make it this far with all good reviews! Wow! Thank you so much!

Ok… I'm going to post a songfic, if you're a nirvana fan, check it out. Sadly, character death. Not sayin' who though. Hope you read it, I think it's actually pretty good. And that's me talking.

Has anyone ever read Crank? If not read it. I just finished and I'm still amazed. It would be cool to write a whole story in free-verse. I wish I could. Maybe I shoud try?

I won't bore you with my a/n, and I'll let you read the story now.

* * *

"Well, after running off to the roof do you feel better?"

Never!"

"What ere you talking about?"

"NO!"

I jolted awake. WonderWoman would never do that and I knew it.

"Raven what's wrong?" Robin asked, his face tense with a worry not even his mask could hide.

"Nothing… I just had a nightmare, that's all. WonderWoman was an apprintice because of me." I knew he would ask what it was about, why not tell him?

"That won't ever happen Raven!" Robin said.

"Yeah…" Part of me thought it would, not because WonderWoman was weak, but because of me.

Though we both knew if someone told us we would be apprinticfes seven years ago we would have called them insane.

"Raven? Robin?" Batmans cool voice called.

I realized we had fallen asleep on the roof. Part of me inwardly cursed the other part of me for not caring. I had fallen asleep on a roof next to Boy Blunder.

"Battle" Was all The Dark Knight had to say before we were bolting out of the tower.

"It's in Gotham City." Superman muttered.

What were they all just standing around for? Couldn't they see we needed to get out of there, now! I ignored them and ran out.

"Raven wait!" Someone called.

"What?" I snapped. "Are we going to help them or not? Gotham City needs help, I don't know **why** you are just standing there but we need to leave, **now**."

"WonderWoman is leading them."

"What!" I yelled. I instantly felt out for her, this couldn't happen. If it was a joke, the person leading it would die. I felt WonderWoman. In Gotham City. Leading an army. I felt someone else inside her too. Slade. Two someones. A child. Slade was my priority right now, he had hypnotized her! Would the others believe me? Would Robin turn on me? Would he blame me? I knew they were all itching to blame someone… I cursed myself, these were my friends, my team, my allies. They wouldn't turn.

"She's been hypnotized." I said darkly. "By Slade."

"How could he?" Superman yelled. "HOW COULD SHE?"

"Don't blame her." I growled. "It's not her fault. He is strong, we all know that."

"Well, she is stronger!" Superman insisted.

"Not when she is pregnant." I grumbled.

"What?"

"I can feel it! She's weaker because of it."

"We can't… not now…" Superman muttered. Batman had an even deeper frown than normal. He looked at Superman.

"I… uh… I'm…" Superman stuttered. "Sorry."

Batman said nothing.

"I'm leaving." I said bluntly.

"What? NO! Not again Raven!" Robin exclaimed.

"To find WonderWoman."

"Oh… Right." The Boy Wonder calmed down.

"If I have to kidnap her to get her back I will."

The others knew I would too.

"We have to stay here, while everyone else fights. This will be a battle we will just have to miss. Human to human, pure blood to pure blood." Batman said. It didn't sound like him at all. Almost… sad.

I grunted, and I was off. Flying… free. Not for long. I had to come back, I knew it.

WonderWoman stood, not proudly though. Any sense of pride echoing in her eyes was not hers, it was Slade's. I frowned even deeper then I had before and glared ahead.

"Raven." There was no emotion in that greeting, I wasn't sure if it was her talking. "Where's the team?"

"Not here." I replied coolly.

"What do you want then?"

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" I cried, trapping her in black. Without flinching I had her unconcious, I dind't want to hear it on the way back.

I stopped midway to the tower, realizing I couldn't take her back like this. I sighed and flew towards a vacant warehouse. I walked in and instantly regreted it. This was the place that held many memories, pain, love, and hatred. I looked at the cuffs dangling from the wall. You could barely see the blood stains from Robin and I. Our lives had bled here, and no one would know it but us. I looked down at WonderWoman. I knew she wouldn't like this, but I began to probe her mind, making sure Slade had no control, everything she did would be her own choice. I dind't pry, I didn't want to know anything. I didn't need to know anything. I checked on her growing child and smiled. She was going to be beautiful like her mother. That wasn't my business, I left her, waiting for her to wake up.

"Raven, where are you?" A sharp voice snapped over my communicator. I realized I had fallen asleep. I was leaning against the wall, my legs sprawled out in front of me, and a few feet away WonderWoman lay unconcious. I realised it was Robin speaking and I calmed down.

"I'm with WonderWoman. In a warehouse. She's unconcious. I can't bring her back until I'm sure everything is safe. For now just calm down." I smiled to myself, "And tell Superman it's a girl."

"**What** are you **talking **about?"

"Don't you remember earlier?"

"Haha, not funny. Seriously Raven, how is she?"

"Unconcious and pregnant. I'd say not to well."

"When is she going to wake up?" Robin sighed.

"Soon. I don't really know. She's pretty weak. I think she may just be sleeping."

"Well wake her up!"

"No. I don't have the strength to carry both of us back."

"Why not?"

"Because my emotions have been slipping lately. I need to calm down a little. This is a good oppurtunity to do so. When she wakes up we'll fly back and have a little reunion then. Goodbye Robin."

"Bye Raven…" Robin said, he didn't sound happy. A sadness echoed in his voice. I ignored it and switched off the communicator.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos…" I chanted. Serenity once again washed over me. I'd feel better once this was all over… if it ever ended…

* * *

**Next chapter: WonderWoman awakes! What does the team have to say? FIND OUT WHEN I GET AROUND TO WRITING IT! **

**For now… Be so kind to REVIEW and make my day. I know this story will never be as good as the stories that reach 100+ reviews but… come on review! Please! I'm _lonely_! Ok not that lonely but please review!**

**Thank you, thank you very much. :does Elvis move: **

**Well ladey-freakin'-da!**

**How are you gonna do it, WITH ONE EYE?**

**Don't ask I don't know, I've just heard them so I typed 'em. **

**Now: REVIEW!**


	12. Return

Well… I should answer reviews. Hehe… I don't really do that a lot, do I? Starting from how they are listed on the page.

Wickedwitch9: I wish I could answer that. I don't know… it just kinda happened. And, I love plot twists. Sooo much fun. I was kinda surprised at that one. Thank you for bowing to me :grins: Now… a cookie for you! And if you don't like cookies, TO BAD. Just kidding…

Chica De Los Ojos Café: I wish he would! Stupid superman for being so perfect:laughs: I'm having fun with him. Hehe. I'll update! Sorry, I went out of town and I didn't have a computer to update on.

Titanfan: My god, superman! Sorry for the confusion, I'm not _that_ perverted. Yeepps… that would have been _very_ scary.

Xlife: Thanks! I put you on my author alert list, but now I have to check my e-mail. Hahah… ok only I would really get that one. You deserve to be on my favorite authors list, which is why you are there.

Thank you- thank you very much… And if I forget someone, YOU ARE SO AWESOME, unless you are flaming me, then I will feed you to my man eating frog. Be warned!

Ok… now I'm going to quietly slip the fluff back into the story, sorry to those who don't like it, but I need _some_ kind of tension because I really don't have that much of a plot, because I don't wanna end it! Waaaaahh! Allrighty… Chapter 12:

* * *

"Azarath, Metri-"

"Raven?" WonderWoman interupted my mediation. I was gald she was awake, but must she drag me back to reality?

"What?"

"Where am I?" She asked. This would take explaining.

"In a warehouse." I replied simply.

"What is going on?"

"Slade controlled you for a few hours. You were leading his army. I had to come play hero."

"And why is there blood on the wall?"

"Torture." I looked over at the wall, memories flooding through me. I let none of it show.

"Who?" WonderWoman looked deep in thought for a moment.

"Robin and I. Seven years ago. Those stains have stayed awhile."

"I assumed so, they are fading."

It hadn't even registered.

"It's time to go back." A feeling of coldness settled over me. I was beginning to forget care. I encircled us in black magic and we were transported to the tower.

"What took you so long?" Superman demanded as soon as we arrived.

"Do you know what it is like to be drained of all emotion? Then to have every thought, every memory, every feeling you've every had tear at you?"

"Well er…" Superman faltered, though I hated to admit it, it was something I had always wanted to see.

"I didn't think so."

"They're back!" Starfire said, seeing us in the living room. The others came rushing to see us. I tried to ignore the gaping hole that Cyborg left us with.

"Raven are you-"

"I'm fine Robin." I said, before he could finish the sentence.

"Come on, we should talk." Robin said, leghtly taking my arm and guiding me out of the room. No one notcied. Robin to me to the roof. It seemed to be the only place we talked.

He looked out over the lake, leaning over the rail. The wind tossed his hair. Robin sighed. "Remember when we went to that café?"

"Yes our first…"

"Date, yes. Remember how nervous and happy we were?"

"Yes, I remember everything, why?"

"Do you still feel like that?"

I looked at the moon. What was he getting at? "Yes." I said. "But I can't feel too much, remember?"

"I know. I was just curious. I miss you. I never see you anymore, and a lot is going to happen now."

"I know."

"Without WonerWoman we will be weakened. The team is going to go through a lot. It's nice to have someone there."

"I'm not going to leave again, not when you need me so much."

"Thanks Rae."

"Don't call me Rae." A smile crept across my lips, "Robby-poo." As much as I hated the taste of the words on my tounge, it was worth it to see the expression on his face. His face suddenly brightened.

"Youuu can call me Robby-poo…" Robin said, trying to sound seductive but failing miserably.

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"Allright. Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" Black magic surrounded his lips. "I made you."

"Mmmmm! MMM! MMM!" Robin tried to talk.

I realeased him. He was so pitiful, running around yelling 'mmm!'.

"You know, when you do that, I can't do this!" He grabbed me and turned me to him. "Just like Cyborg taught us." He whispered. He pressed his lips to mine. It was rare we did this now, it used to be every night. Before bed. When he was in my room… The solitude was nice to have though. I'd grown accustomed to it.

"That's enough." Batman said.

"I was just having- oh. Sorry sir." Robin said, realizing who was talking.

"I'm aware you were having fun. But it's time to sleep. Tomorrow we train. We are going to start driving into their base camp. You need rest. You too Raven."

I nodded and hurried to my room. Tommorow was going to be hell.

* * *

**It was short! Grr… I'll make up for it! But I've had writers block, vacation can do that to you. But I'm back home, and I'm on spring break for another week!**

**Thank you for reading! Sorry, again, that it was short! Have a 'great' day!**


	13. The Last Battle, The Last Chapter

13… This is it people. The final showdown. I think… it will be like when Terra died. Sort of… That was much to big a hint but whatever. But then again, I haven't written it yet, so we'll see. Then… I started a new story, I have a one shot to post… and we'll see what happenes from there.

Thank you… to all of my reviewers, for putting up with me. And liking it! I hope you read my new story, new plot, new everything, Torniquet, when it's up. I hope you read my one-shot, You Know You're Right, when it's up. And finally, I hope you enjoy this last chapter.

Well… :gulp: here we go…

Ready, set, GO

I was just about to enter my room when the alarm went off. _So much for training… I guess it's for the better._ I thought to myself, floating down to the living room to see what was wrong.

"This is it." Batman said. "This is the final battle.

"I'm ready." The team murmmured. I pulled my hood over my face. We wouldn't be ready for this, no matter how much we trained.

Batman ignored them, I didn't need to look into his mind to see that he was thinking the same thing as I. "We are going to close in on all sides. Raven, you and Robin will come in from the West, Go now." We oblidged Batman's command, not that we had much of a choice.

"I'll have to carry you. I trust I can set you down on a roof and you can go from there?" I said bluntly.

"Yes, that's fine."

I picked him up and we flew to the core of Jump City, then West.

"Are you ready for this?" Robin asked me.

"No." I answered, I was being honest, "I never will be. Beast Boy isn't going to be so sure of himself when we get there, we'll have to face Terra again."

"Yes… and Slade."

"Of course we'll have to face him, I know you want to kill him Robin, but don't get hurt… too badly. He is powerful."

We both were looking down at the grey, abandoned Jump City. Some people hid in the allyways, all of the skinny, scrambling for any food they could find. So much had changed… so much…

I gently set Robin down on the roof. We stood there for a moment, looking at eachother.

"If this is the last time I see you…" He started.

_Don't worry. It won't be._

_Why are you starting a bond?_

_You will have the choice of coming to Hell with me. You will also have the choice of whatever other afterlife you chose, if you die, which you won't. I think this will help, I want to remember you Robin. We shared love. I won't forget it so easily._

_You won't! We will see eachother again._

A last kiss and we were off. He scaled down the side of the building while I glared at the drones. At the core… once we got there… I tried to push the thought out of my mind.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" The curse I cast was dark, sending a shattering cold across the robots. They were weakend, it would take hours to get through them, we could do it. We would do it.

Robin was throwing bombs below me, we were both working alone, Batman hadn't sent us here to do that. I flew above him. "We need to work together!" I shouted. He nodded his head in understanding.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" I cried again, knocking more robots to the ground, and some into eachother. With our powers combined, Robin and I were creating a domino affect. I was just thankful it wasn't people, yet. I hated having to watch innocent blood shed. _But… it's not so innocent._

_What?_

_Their blood… nevermind. Just fight._

We concentraited, me propelling dark spells, and Robin throwing bombs, bird-a-rangs, anything he could grasp.

We reached people far to soon.

_We're doing good! Keep going Raven!_

Keep going, easy for him to say. I fought a headache off and countinued the ramage, trying my hardest not to think of what I was killing. It was war. It had to be done. A hardness settled over me, I used it as a shield.

"AZARATH, METRION, ZINTHOS!" A powerful blast… and another… and another. Off in the distance I swore I saw a T-Rex fighting, and a black cape fly past us.

Slowly we worked towards the core of the army, fighting, screaming, anything to ignore the pain of killing people.

"Azarath, Metrion, ZINTHOS!" My last cry before we reached Terra, surrounded by droids.

"Ready?" Robin asked.

"Ready as I'll ever be." I answered.

The rest of the team stood around us, East, North, and South. There was a pause, a screaming silence filled the streets. I ended it, "Azarath, Metrion, ZINTHOS!" Pushing the droids out of my way with ease, all I wanted was to get to Terra. Realizing, this was her fault, Cyborg's death, everyone changing, this war. If she wasn't so… **weak**.

We reached her with ease. She looked surprised, as if she was expecting us to have trouble getting to her.

"You can't win Titans!" Terra said.

"Yes… we can." I said, reaching my hands out to her neck. She didn't have time to dodge.

"No! Don't! Terra is our _friend_! You can't kill her!" Beast Boy yelled.

"Watch me." I was surprised at how cruel me words were, but got over it quickly.

"NO!" Somehow the changling managed to pull me off of Terra. She ran for her life.

"Stupid… stupid girl. You will just lead us to your precious Slade!" I said.

"Is that a bad thing?" Robin asked.

"No… not on our part. Come on." I said, picking him up we flew after her, ignoring the others questioning looks.

Terra's hands glowed yellow, she hopped onto a piece of road, ducking away from us, leading us… underground, as usual.

I could hear the team not far behind us. I followed Terra deeper underground.

We entered a large cavern, she hadn't even bothered to look behind her.

"TERRA, YOU FOOL!" Slade yelled. He grabbed Terra and harshly turned her to face us. "YOU LED THEM HERE!"

"Nice to see you too Slade." Batman said coolly.

"It's time to end this. I will have the world!"

Evil villians and the world, it's not a great place anyways, why bother with it? Raven chuckled to herself at the thought. Robin didn't seem to catch it.

"AZARATH, METRION, ZINTHOS!" She started before anyone else, slamming her powers into Slade. Terra and Slade were outnumbered to begin with, this would be simplier than she had expected.

Beast Boy was concentraiting on Terra.

"I never loved you!" Terra yelled at him. I heard her, and saw Beast Boy's hurt reaction.

"AZARATH, METRION, ZINTHOS!" I knocked Terra into a wall, "You finish her off Be- OW!" Someone managed to send something flying at me, knocking me into a wall. A rock. Terra. I ignored her and turned to Slade, the others had him under control, he was putting up a good fight though.

I turned to Beast Boy and Terra. Terra was weak, she was keeling over and threw up blood. I decided to end her pain. "I'm sorry Beast Boy. I'm sorry… Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" Terra collapsed. "At least it won't be painful.

"Raven! What did you do?"

"I… Killed… Her…" I said, bowing my head in shame.

"No! Don't… It will be fine! She was dying anyways, you just ended her pain!"

"I know… I just feel like, like a monster!"

"You're not one!"

Suddenly Slades mask passed us by. I backed away. "My Gods… they killed him!"

"It's not over. Jump City is still in trouble, we need to fix it." Batman said, brushing past us.

Six years later… Titan tower

"It's been awhile." Robin said.

"ROBIN, RAVEN!" Starfire smiled, she was again, always.

"Hey, you guys came!" Beast Boy said.

"Yes we came. If we hadn't we wouldn't be standing here right now."

"It's been what… since the wedding?" Robin asked. "Almost a year then."

"Too long." I said.

"Ah yes! The Earth ceremonies for marrying two lovers!" Starfire said, smiling. "It was fun. Dancing, and laughing and…"

"Not to mention the food!" Beast Boy said.

"The food isn't everything." I said. Yes… a year ago, after fixing Jump City, after the Titans disbanded and went our separate ways, Robin and I married. I've been happy, to the point where I almost break everything I walk by. After defeating Slade and Terra we all suffered from the images of battle, but we've managed to get over them. And as I look around the room, it's not the same as it would be with Cyborg, we're all still wounded from his death. We know he would be laughing with us if he were here, and challenging Beast Boy, now Changeling to a video game. Starfire would be cheering them on. Robin and I would sit around and laugh. I suppose this is a happy ending, as happy as it will ever get. Cyborg is gone, we've all killed, but Jump City is on it's way to being the city it once was, and hopefully better. Maybe less crime… maybe… We all doubted it. But crime would give us an excuse to work together. While putting together the city we found it best to be alone to recover the pains of war. It sounds stupid to us now, being together would help us forget, not being alone. I'm just waiting for someone to agree… of course I'd have to throw the idea out for people to agree… I smile at myself, a smile no one can see but me. And I ask the question.

"What if we move back together? Crimes are going to go back up and… I know we're older but it would be fun." I filled the silence that had settled with my words, wondering what they will say.

"Yes. We should." Robin said.

"Yeah!"

"Oh yes! Glorious!"

"The Titans, forever!"

End sappiness end story

Well a nice sappy, happy, ending for you. And that's it, the other ending was all of them dying. But I didn't do that, it would be cruel. So… Now to post my new story, new plot, new everything, not a sequel! NEW! I hope you read it, Torniquet. Please read, for me!

**Torniquet summary:** Raven has a demonic reflection looking to control her, or kill her. What does her reflection make her do? And what will the team do when they find out?

**Category:** Angst/Horror

**Rating:** PG-13, Self-mutlilation, attempted suicide, and wanted murder.

**Pairings** (If I use them, if so, minimal fluff, if any, I'm not focusing on love, just friendship): Rae/Rob, Star/BB.

AND… REVIEW!


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